Over 400 dive bars...
Thirty-two countries...
Six continents...
and growing
The best cure after visiting one of these bars...
The scenario: you're on a trip (business or pleasure, makes no difference)... you want to drink... but where to go? The hotel bar? Fuck that. Old women with a bra size of 44 long slurping watered down Manhattans. Nightclub? A bunch of people standing around comparing how many payments they're behind on their Lexus since their stock in Yahoo took a shit. No, you, weary traveler, need the comfort of... A REAL BAR!
The dive bar is much under appreciated in this flighty, here-today gone-tomorrow world of trendy hotspots. People, Drunk Bastards or not, need a place where they can just be themselves and not worry about the pretenses of the shallow world around them. Dive bars are a necessary thing in the world no matter the era. We need a place where we can simply say to someone, "Shut the fuck up."
With the expert input of Drunk Bastards the world over just like you, we are in the never-ending process of compiling the best Drunk Bastard bars on Earth. So, print this page out, stuff it in your wallet, and when you find yourself in unfamiliar drinking territory, refer to this. It may just save your life.
Likewise, we're also compiling a list of the places that give the image of being a real bar, but, well, suck.
(Kenny's disclaimer: I make no claim that any bars from other people will fulfill your life-long dream of happiness. If you have a bad experience in one of them... well... that's life. And it was probably your fault anyway. Also, any comments made about any of the bars, owners, employees, or patrons are wholly those of the person who wrote it, and I have absolutely no part in what was said. I also don't edit posts. If you read something you don't like, don't come bitching to me.)
Another note: Behave yourself. Just because the bar is listed here as a "Drunk Bastard" bar does not give you an excuse to go in and act like a fucking retard. Even Drunk Bastards follow a certain minimum level of decorum.
THE WBDBB QUICK LOCATOR
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Anniston
Peerless Saloon - "Classy place yet you can get down and DIRTY. If there are beautiful women from the college and those a little older here. Music from bluegrass to rock. If you are not at the Peerless you are going to miss out on life." (anonymous)
AJ's Bar and Grill - "In the wee hours of morning...my friends and I find ourselves leaving this bar when the sun is coming up. We always swear we are never going back b/c this place is a meat market for a one night shot of ass. It has more pool tables than the customers have teeth, but it is always fun watching the "characters" that come out of god knows where to have a beer and find them a real woman/man...sometimes both. I wouldn't recommend ever taking a date to this bar or telling anyone you are going...nevertheless, I always leave after having a good time and the employees there are really nice. The "dance contests and dark corner/bathroom action" that go on here are scary...but quiet amusing. Don't LIE...you know you go there too :)" (anonymous)
Birmingham
Gable Square Saloon - "4 bucks for an imperial guiness frsh from the tap. Good irish band every once in a while." (from Navert!)
Kilarney's Irish Pub - "Has Guinness on tap and approx 75 others in bottles and/or cans. Also good food." (submitted anonymously)
Mobile
Silver Horse Saloon - "COLD beer and FREE crawfish!!! What the hell else you need?" (from C. Todd)
Orange Beach
Keg Lounge - "This is where everyone when the Florabama (another DBB) closes down. Pelnty of cheap drinks and all night music, not to mention one of the best greasy burgers (Keg Burger) around. No trip to the "Bama" is complete without a taxi ride to (and possibly a police car ride from) the Keg." (from Mike Steely)
Perdido Key
The FloraBama - "I don't have time to write all the reasons...why don't you go to Google and type in "Florabama Lounge"? Then you'll know." (http://www.florabama.com) (sent in by A little sandcrab that lives under the boardwalk in front of the FloraBama)
Talladega
Parigi's Pizza - "PARIGI'S PIZZA.....This bar is so much fun! You can eat great food from pizza to hot wings and get slant eyed all in one place, plus there is an outside deck and tiki bar that has locals picking classic rock to country on most weekends and Karoke for those that are brave/trashed. It is Talladega's "CHEERS" where everyone knows each other, but can feel right at home because the locals are so cool and friendly. I never break the bank at this bar." (anonymous)
Tuscaloosa
The Booth - "I have been a patron at the Booth in Tuscaloosa for many years and have made many memories there. Sad to say, I heard a rumor that The University of Alabama is trying to clean up their "party-school" image (good luck) and the Booth is being torn down. It is located on the strip and is a fave for all ages after a game or anytime for that matter. I think many people have left their DNA there and is still rotting under the floor, but I'll always love that place that smells like an Alabama slammer regurgitation. Roll Tide!" (anonymous)
Anchorage
Chilkoot Charlie's - "The one and only place in alaska to get drunk!!! There is nothing else to do in alaska that does not require you to wear several layers of clothes except going to "koots". $1 beers make the night!!!" (sent by partlow11)
Darwin's Theory - "Full of local characters. Bartenders offer free "Red Hots" shooters throughout the night." (sent by Jack)
Fairbanks
Chatinika Lodge (actually 30 miles NE of Fairbanks on Steese Hwy.) (from CJ)
Skinny Dick's Half Way Inn, Between Fairbanks and Nenanna - "Locals." (from vetterbaby)
Homer
Down East Saloon - "Live comedy from shitfaced commercial fishermen and locals. Free Sunday breakfast of moose sausage, football and Alaskan Amber." (from Iron Hail)
North Pole
12 Mile Roadhouse - "A quaint little dump just outside the city limits of North Pole, Alaska. Not really in the middle of nowhere but close." (anonymous)
Seward
The Pit - "Located just outside the city limits of "Sunny" Seward, Alaska (where the fucks on City Council made the closing time in town 2 AM in 1989, the Pit is the place where "particular (and peculiar) people congregate. When the bars close in town, a steady stream of taxi's and other vehicles wander their way to and from the PIT! Interested in meeting foreign trash? When the cruise vessels tie up around 3AM (we're talking Princess, Celebrity, Holland America, here!) thirsty crew make their way to the Pit. I spent my last $20.00 in there one night, but got a load back in my Suburban to the ship - and MADE $40.00! - plus a piece of an English nurse! Righty-O!" (anonymous)
Buckeye
Longhorn Saloon - "Where the real cowboys go. Bar Brawls, Booze, and Great Bands.....Damn good time! " (anonymous)
Phoenix
The Mecca - "I can't belive it's not on here already.
Voted #1 dive bar in Phoenix several years running. Happy hours: 6am-10am / 3pm-7pm
Not to mention on occasion some of the skanks from the strip club next door come over and get f'ed up after their shift." (from T-Diddy)O'Brien's Pub - "Dude, the only time they aren't open is when they can't serve! (2pm-6am) Fun as hell, laid back, Hot bartenders, and killer grub... SE Corner of 35th Ave and Northern, Check it out." (from Grady)
Scottsdale
DJ's of Scottsdale, 7320 East Stetson Drive (480) 945-9693 - the Ultimate Drunk Bastard Bar. This bar was (and still is) the inspiration for this website. The bartenders pride themselves on turning people into drunk puddles of DNA.
TT's Roadhouse, 68th Street and Thomas (a CD jukebox full of punk. How can one go wrong?)
Greasewood Flats (graffiti all over the walls, bonfires, and cheap beer in the middle of nowhere) (from Ikeman)
Coach House - "Opens at 6am. Old shack that hasn't succumb to South Scottsdale development. Covered in lights over the holidays." (anonymous)
Dos Gringos - "Anyone who is ANYONE and anyone who is no one has probably been a drunk bastard at Dos Gringos at least once. It has a good-time-for-all atmosphere and cheap drinks to convince you if you don't agree at first. It plays host to the snotiest of Scottsdale, to your favorite Spring Training player, to the guys looking for their 3rd wife -- you name it, DG will have it!" (from The Arizona Cowgirl)
Tempe
Palo Verde - "This is the quintissential dive bar. It looks smells and acts like a classic dive. The clientele runs the gammut from old to young, and homeless-like to aspiring homeless. Drinks are cheap and stiff as they come courtesy of any bartender on the staff. Pool tables that look like they were rescued from curbside, pinball, and a jukebox littered from serious metal to serious lounge. And of course bathrooms that waft of putridity and the looks to match. Scrape up your couch change and head to the Palo Verde." (from S.R.)
The Library - "this place is great! the waitresses dress as slutty librarians and dance on the bars. drink prices are reasonable and they play some kick ass music. plus, there's a patio for smoking which also has its own bar. (anonymous)
The Woodshed I - "The Shed is Tempe's best dive bar, A hole in the hole in the wall. The bartenders are some cool ass people and the drinks are reasonably priced and always good, Surprisingly alot of college girls frequent this dive, so please check it out" (from The Big Shoe)
Tucson
The Buffet - "Lets see... the bar opens at 6am, the drinks are cheap as hell, and I saw a guy throw up(in the bar), pass out(at the bar), and the staff kicked him out, only so he could sleep for about 15 min. (on the fucking curb), go back inside, sit at the bar and the bartender served him another drink. Oh yea, the only thing is the whole place smells like DJ's mens room." (from cmill)
Fayetteville
George's Majestic Lounge - "Cold long necks, good happy hour, live music on the weekends, beer garden and college girls." (submitted by Razorback)
Concord
The Old Hangout - "Everybody is always beyond shitfaced. The party never stops." (anonymous)
Costa Mesa
Goat Hill Tavern - "cuz i rock a mullet and i rock!" (from Rufio)
Cupertino
The Duke - "They have all the great beers on tap. Everyone out on the patio smoking comes there every day. They have awesome greasy bar food. It is a nice dark pub type place inside with a great jukebox. When you walk in the place smells of good beer. I can go get drunk there in the middle of the day and no one thinks any thing of it. The regulars, of course if you are too, always buy each other drinks." (anonymous)
Delta
Lost Isle - "No access by land, boat only. Therefore, NO LAW!!" (from Mark Plawchan)
Fresno
Ewell's - "Its Got all the basics cheep booze, cheep poo, a juke box, and hot bartenders!" (sent anonymously)
Hollywood
Boardners - "Darkly lit. Cheap drinks. Good greasy food. Dirty rock 'n' rollers. And a host of disturbing regulars whom may or may not have teeth (if you go during daylight hours)." (from Beer Goggles)
La Verne
Nick's Place - "This place is for beer drinkers as it is a beer only establishment but liquer can be found next door and there are always people getting high out back. Friendly staff that will let you know how they feel and pool tables. One block from ULV dorms = girls. Watch out for Police station across the alley though." (from SOADweskey)
Locke
Al The Wops - "Babes Bikers Beer in this old Chinese town of Locke. STRONG Drinks and always a party. Famous Chilly cook off in May where they close the streets for one big drunk." (from Shitty Smitty)
Long Beach
Alex's - "Stiff drinks being served by hot female bartenders with good punk playing load all the time." (anonymous)
Los Angeles
St. Nick's Pub - "You can smoke and no one give s a shit. Hot drunk chics 24/7, and every now and then you can even catch a fucked up celebrity there too." (anonymous)
Los Gatos
Mountain Charlie's (from wasted)
Black Watch (from wasted)
Newport Beach
Goat Hill Tavern - "more beers on tap 210+ than most places; pool tables in the expansion (it was such a good place they expanded to the place next door). no dress code, plenty of parking in the back to sleep off your evening.. the rumors of hookers and drugs are just exaggerations" (from barnacle)
Palm Desert
The Red Barn - "It's a relative 'dive' in the midst of hoity-toity upscale Palm Desert. The city fathers have tried for years to get rid of it as it doesn't fit their idea of what PD is. Typical, eh?" (from m5todd)
Palo Alto
Antonio's Nut House (aka. The Nut House) - "This bar is bitchin! Good music, strong drinks and always a good crowd. It's NOT a YUPPIE BAR, like most in the town of Palo Alto (Yuppieville USA)... Any bar where you can throw peanut shells on the ground, drink with the tenders and smoke dope in the back is alright by me....hehe... Hucklebuckers will be 86ed!" (from The Captain's Crew)
Pinole
Antlers - "There's a stuffed moose on the wall that they make girls kiss if it's their birthday. Jon at the bar is a friend of mine, he gets me my drinks for free." (from G Money)
Rio Vista
The Pink Flamingo - "Bikers are Welcome there like Gods,There is always a couple of whores there that will suck your dick for a shot of anything. At 2:00am they lock the door and party till 6:00 am. Can you hang" (from shittysmitty)
Sacramento
The Maple Room - "It's a neighborhood dive complete with resident drunks, cops drinkin' with crooks, hot chicks and old bastards, some of whom have been comin' in for 40 years. You can legally smoke there, and the karaoke four nights a week would make Helen Keller twitch, but it's never dull. The place is a cross between TNT "We Know Drama" and USA "Characters Welcome" with a little HBO "Taxicab Confessions" thrown in. It's just cool, man." (from Big Dave)
The Pied Piper - "Truly an underrated dive bar in Sacramento, on El Camino Avenue near Watt Avenue. No waitresses, no food, no menu, regulars are usually above 50 years old. Best of all: it is a SMOKER'S BAR! It is "owned" by the customers to get around that annoying "no smoking in bars" law. They also have karaoke and NTN Trivia, both of which seem more enjoyable when you get increasingly shitfaced as the evening wears on. If you need time alone to yourself (especially late at night) while nursing your drink, this is a great place to do it. There's only one problem: the bar owner don't mind that you use any cuss words, but you can't say "fuck". I don't know why, but that's how it is there. Still, I would highly recommended this place." (from Steven)
San Diego
The Coaster Saloon, Mission Blvd. and Mission Bay Dr. (858) 488-4438
Lahaina Beach House, 710 Oliver Avenue (858) 270-3888
Dick's Last Resort (actually, eight in the U.S.) (submitted by Kane)
Moondoggies - "Great little bar. Lots of TVs for sports and with all the drink specials (i.e. all the DRUNKS) it can get pretty roudy. Half outside too. Of course it comes complete with the crazy chicks that go along with American sports. Great Place, Cheap booze and good bar food specials." (from Captain Morgan)
Pacific Beach Bar and Grill - "By closing EVERYONE is drunk. Lots of locals, lots of transplants and lots of toursts. All the chicks are here for one thing (and there are a lot of them). There is a cool chill-out bar, a pool room and a night club in the back so it attracts all walks of life. You can smoke inside too, try to find a place like that in Cali. If you don't hook up inside there is always the parking lot at closing! Great place if you are looking to get laid to a young, dumb chick." (from Walnutz)
The West End - "A REAL DIVE! Drinks are dirt cheap and if you simply hold a conversation with the bar maid she just starts giving you drinks for free. A lot of the local college girls hang here. Toss darts, play pool, get wasted and chase skit. All for practically nothing." (from Dezzz)
San Francisco
The Buccaneer - "you can smoke!!!...the people who play pool here are cool and polite...the bartenders are nice people, and they remember your name...the women are not prima donnas and are approachable...and did i mention you can smoke!..." (from rodaroo)
Budda Bar - "Mark the bartender will almost definitely be drunker than you are. I've actually seen him puke in the street in front of the place. As a matter of fact, I've puked in that same street. I've drunk there all night for $10. He doesn't really keep track of what you owe him as long as you buy him a few drinks. The place is a dirty shit hole. They recently fixed up the bathroom, which is a shame because "someone" had kicked in the wall behind the urinal and you could see the wall of the building next door.
Ordering a mixed drink often results in a glass of straight liquor with the mixer poured onto the bar.
They've got some funky herbal chinese liquor which tastes and smells like shit. It's behind the bar in a gourd shaped bottle. Highly recommended. It's the best dive bar I've found in SF, and we have some great ones." (from rim job)Vieni Vieni - "Located right between Chinatown and North Beach, the clientele is mostly older men of Asian and Italian origin, though there are some wacked out Scotsmen. A multi-cultural dive, opens at 6 a.m. The bartenders are great -- friendly, they remember your drink -- if you behave yourself. So few do behave themselves regularly that you have a good chance of becoming a favorite. Great juke box, tiny pool table, video games. Full bar. Try not to make eye contact with certain characters --you'll know them when you see them." (anonymous)
San José
Brittania Arms (from wasted)
South First Street Billiards (from wasted)
Park Lane Lounge - "This is a total dive, nothing on tap, no windows, and the sign out front only says, "Lounge" but the regulars are usually friendly(there are some decent pool players among them) and the female bartenders are either cute, pretty, or smokin' fuckin' hot. Dancing on the bar and other fun stuff is not exactly unheard of. Not many women in the clientele so if you want to go home with someone you should bring them with you, but it's definitely a fun place to stop by for a few drinks while you figure out what you're going to do for the night." (from Mojo)
Santa Cruz
The Red Room - "You can smoke inside. The drinks are strong and very good. It beats the hell outta all the other ones in SC" (anonymous)
Seal Beach
The Irisher - "In the town of Seal Beach there lies a quiet little naval ammunition depot. When ships pull in we sailors flock to The Irisher to get good and drunk so we can move missiles and other such explosives with a world class fucking hangover!!!" (submitted anonymously)
Studio City
The Fox and Hounds - "Cool English pub with smoking patio, great soccer and Fish 'n' Chips" (anonymous)
Torrance
The Branch Office - "It is seedy and cheap but all shots are 2.00 ( doubles in a tumbler) and all beer, wine and well drinks are 2.00 also. You can get as trashed as you want and they won't cut you off. The bartenders even get faced." (anonymous)
Ukiah
The Forest Club, 239 North State Street (707) 462-7169 (from Ross)
Visalia
The Pumphouse - "This bar meets all the necessary criteria, ecept they dont have hot food, lots of other stuff tho. Its a Drunkard bard that looks like an old west aloon with swinging doors, Wagon Wheels on the seeling, and shit i dont even know what it is. $1 beers all day everyday, #4 wells all day everyday, no gaddam cover even on Karaoke night! One of 2 bars in town I might add that dosent charge a cover the abolishionist facioust Godamm Town" (from Andrew Miller)
Colorado Springs
Cleats - "The bar smells like a burning cigarette soaked in a stale vagina. Or maybe it's the other way around (stale vagina smoking a cigarette).. Throw in a little yeast smell too (beer taps and women both are infected with it). The rest rooms are right next to the back door, so if someone's puking in the toilet, you can go outside next to the dumpster and add yours to the pile that's already there. Monday nights are best, since there's no happy hour food to mix with the beer that comes from the taps that aren't cleaned often enough, so when you get the shits from the bad taps, the little hot dogs aren't in there. Tequila is everywhere, and all you have to do is buy a couple shots for any of the sleazy women at the bar and you're laid. I got a blow job once in the alley behind the bar after shot #3. She was gross before the tequila but fine afterwards. Chuck (the bar owner) has gray mullet and has fucked every barmaid that has ever worked there (some are actually quite hot!). If you go on Friday, you'll see a yuppy here and there, but they don't stay long as the sleazebags will kick their asses if they stay past 9 or so." (from Just "G")
Tony's - "Great staff who actually want to serve drinks and please customers. Spend a couple of weeks there on a regular basis and the bouncer will still card your ass at the door (This is a good thing) but your drink of choice will be waiting for you when you belly up. Farggin good music and Farggin good fun." (from Sam The Lilgeek)
Denver
Lodo's - spent a very good (and hot) Friday afternoon up on the patio bar drinking $2 Bud Light drafts, pounding back Jager/Red Bull shots, and basically getting stoopid. Bartenders were cool.
Glendale
Four Mile House Bar, 4590 Leetsdale Dr. - "BESIDES THE BLENDER (WHICH I GOT FOR MARGARITAS) YOUR BAR DESCRIPTION IS OUR BAR" (from Margaux)
Golden
Angie's Tavern - "Great watering hole. From Pa out here on business looking for a Drunk Bastards bar and I found one. Angie's bar is not far from the coors brewery "In case any of you drunk Bastards are out visiting the Coors Brewery. Mark and Kamron are the day and evening bar tenders. Both do an extremely good job. ALL, the people in the bar were friendly and treated me like I was a regular. Two pool tables! Sorry Diablo I let you win that fifth game! You Know I was a Guest and all. Drank from 3 PM to 10 PM, I drank to many to count 12 0z buds with three large Jack and cokes for my new friend Diablo and walk out of the olace under thirty bucks. If you find your self in Golden Co. and you have alot mof time to waste go to Angie's in Golden That is 15800 W Colfax Ave Golden Co" (submitted by Angie's Tavern)
Vail
The George (submitted by B. Hoppe)
Branford
Elm Tree Cafe - "Local Bar,Pool Table," (and that was all, some sales job, huh?) (anonymous)
Crested Butte
The Eldo - "The front door wears an old time stencil in faux (g)old paint that reads: "A sunny place for shady people". The Eldo is short for The Eldorado, as you'll see in stained glass when you walk upstairs to this shotgun shack. When you walk out you won't be able to see. Head next door to The Secret Stash. I spent $20 last I was there, half was the tip, and exuded fumes melted paint off the benches the next morning. What more can be said?" (from Oliver Kloesoff)
New Haven
The Anchor - "This bar rocks, and it is a shame that I can't do it justice by describing it. But let me try. In the words of a true Drunk Bastard friend, "everything about the Anchor sucks, except for the fact that it's fucking awesome." It's long and skinny, but not enough to give it any cachet. It's got cheap thin carpet and it's not quite dark enough. It's got the requisite incomprehensible rules that no one can quite understand: no beer on tap, you're not allowed to pull up chairs to the tables on ONE side of the room but you can on the other, the juke box is is permanently stuck on a soft-rock station from 1978. The bar itself is too small. The food is just on the wrong side of edible, and when you get a "vegetable" with your hot turkey sandwich, they actually mean not-warmed-up canned corn. Yet for some reason (perhaps the genius of Eric the waiter), everyone loves it. Nowhere else can you find crusty gutterpunks, investment bankers, construction workers, and video store employees all together, arm in arm, singing along to "Sweet Caroline" (yes, the Neil Diamond song) at the top of their lungs. People who never order anything besides Sloe Gin Fizzes or Cosmos will drink 13-17 bottles of Shaeffer in an evening, and leave a 75% tip. People who don't smoke will smoke, and people who do smoke will complain that it's too smoky. Shots of tequila or Jack Daniels are handed out like candy. If you're a graduate student who has just passed a comprehensive exam, or a law student who just got that first job in New York, you'll get dinner for free (they somehow just know, you don't have to tell them) and random beers will appear on your table without you asking, but you'll pay for all of it anyway and still tip. Every city should have a fucking Anchor Bar." (anonymous)
Rudy's - "Loud and crowded. The perfect mix of townie drunks and graduate student drunks, and everyone gets along. Always a good beer special for around $2 a pint. Best fucking Belgian Frites around (who'd-a thunk it?). All sorts of shit carved into the tables. The ideal place to start, nourish, and/or end your bender in Southern New England."
Apopka
Rock Springs Bar and Grill - "If you feel the need to stand on the bar and pull down your pants, it's cool. In fact, must people there will just laugh - usually at your puny dick!" (from Ian Morison)
Feelgood's - "Good for drinking. No b.s. home town bar with rednecks and everything!! No lexuses here!! Anything goes!" (anonymous)
Florida City
Alabama Jacks - "Location on Cardsound, makes the atmosphere, and the musics at its best" (from Steve Adams)
Fort Lauderdale
Dirty Blonde's - "Cheapest bar on the beach in a major traffic/people watching area. Happy hour from 10AM - 10PM daily. $3 Jager shots! Loads of pool tables & games if you're into that. If not, just lots of people to B.S. w/in the crankin' a/c or park it out front and watch the freaks go by across from the ocean. Clean bathrooms in a dive bar - bonus!" (anonymous)
Elbo Room - "THE BEST dive bar in town! Best people watching spot on the beach while you critique tourists, bikes & cars, and hotties across from the ocean. Decent live covers almost all the time this bar caters to ALL walks of life from those with pocket change to major Benjamins in their pockets (although pretention is NOT allowed!). Rockin' from noon to the wee-wee hours every day of the week. Once I even saw a chick in a bikini walking a BABY GOAT ON A LEASH while downing one of many cold brews here....PARADISE!" (anonymous)
Max's Grille - "this bar is only one in Florida that offers 3for1 on all drinks all the time. Anything from Jack to Ketel to Jager to wine and beer. Not even to mention it has to be the most beautiful bar in downtown Lauderdale in a fine restaurant. the women are all top shelf, It seems as though the whole it crowd is there to start the night until 2 then hit thee clubs till 4, these people are crazy. You can even get mega-9oz martini's 3-1, but you have to dress, if you don't vogue you can't get past the doorman, and they have the hottest bartenders, even better than that chic bartending movie. Fucking Mind Blowing-you guys have to see this if you are ever in town! This is the greatest drunk bar on earth! No lies call them 956-779-1800." (submitted by Cocktail282@cs.com)
Jacksonville
O'Malley's - "Dark, kickass jukebox, cheap strong drinks, everyone minds their own bussiness, couple of pool tables, couple of dartboards, no plastic cups, " (from Vincent Vega)
Key Largo
Gilbert's - "HEAVEN ON EARTH for dive bar lovers! BIG ASS tiki hut at a crappy hotel at the entrance to Key Largo (bang a fast right before the bridge to civilization)! Live music on weekends - Sundays are a biker & beach bum madhouse! Cool wooden benches w/backs on them that hold 2-3 people surround the huge, rectangular bar facing the water. GREAT food, hungover bartenders, and colorful (and drunk) locals. WELCOME TO THE KEYS! SAH-WEET!" (anonymous)
Key West
Captain Tony's (submitted by Kane)
The Chart Room Bar (from Whistlepants)
Hog's Breath Saloon - "Great open air bar. Set back under tropical trees out of the way from the main drag, but known by the cool crowd." (from RCJ)
Irish Kevin's - "Bar kicks ass.... awesome bands...speed drinking with timer... sometimes when you walk in the bar...the singer sometimes stops and yells to you .."new people...where you from?" You say "Rhode Island".. He says to the drunk crowd.. "and what do we tell poeple from Rhode Island???!!" 200 drunks yell FUUUCK YOUUUUU... Awesome... If you go to Key West day or night.. Do not miss this Bar
" (from Paulie D - Rhode Island)No Name Bar - "Great music, Absolutely wonderful Karaoke. The people singing are awesome. Shrimpboat hands come in all grimy but boy they can sing. Cold cheap beer. The first one say is $3.00. The second one is $2.75. The third one is $2.50 and so on. By the time it's free you can't stand up." (from Sharon B.)
Kissimmee
Big Bamboo Lounge - "guy turned his house into a museum bar in the 60's; the ambience continues...1940's Pacific Theater decor,South Pacific memorabilia,toilet paper beer pads, liquor takout, bras, theme park badges,current wierd items inside... old military shit in the yard/"parking lot" outside. Much holding forth from the amusing locals." (from DC)
Miami
Automatic Slims, South Beach - "A great place to get a quiet cocktail in the afternoon but has all the activity you can possibly need by night. It's the place the locals come out to play at. The place really gets going after midnight and you just gotta love a bar that has a stripper pole for the amateurs to get busy on. Very cool neon signs inside and out. A must if your in South Beach." (from goehlers)
Fox's Lounge - "Dark, red vinyl furniture, small, nothing to do in there but drink." (submitted anonymously)
Pensacola
The FloraBama Lounge - The bar rests on the AL/FL state line. Technically, it is in Pensacola. However, the original submission was sent in from the AL side. CLICK HERE.
The Sandshaker (tell them Lt. Daryl Nelson sent you) (from CJ)
Trader John's - "This world famous dive has been a locals hangout for over 50 years - never know what you're gonna see." (from an anonymous source)
Athens
Uptown Lounge - "Cheap ass beer, hot bartenders, underage college girls (I used a hotel key as an ID), bathroom smells like a combination of piss and vomit. Great bar!!!" (anonymous)
Atlanta
McTigh's Mellow Mushroom (from OIPUNX1)
McDuff's - "Meets all the criteria except for no food, and Johnny Rocket's is just around the corner if you're jonesin' for some grease. Dark, smelly, shitty, and full of regulars. A great place in Buckhead where you can get stupidly drunk with your friends and no one gives you shit about it. An Irish pub that's actually operated by Irish people -- no fucking gimmicks, just some schmoes who like to get drunk and hope you do too." (from Toxic Liver)
Gainesville
The Monkey Barrel - "Small, dark, tin cielinged brick front downtown bar served rare ahrd to find beer on tap. Ocer 100 different beers available. Food is GREAT. No over night tabs wit out a 25% penalty." (from Scott Sapp)
Stone Mountain
Will Henry's (submitted anonymously)
Kaneohe, Oahu
Buzz' Steakhouse - "They make a good rum drink called the BFRD (Big Fuckin Rum Drink) Supposedly they'll only serve you three. Basically a tweaked up Mai-Tai. Great beach park across the street to sleep of an afternoon of drinking. Good out of the way, non-tourist drinking place that serves some food also. Take the freeway from Waikiki to Kaneohe, then East on the bay shore road for a few miles." (anonymous submission)
Lahaina
Sly Mongoose - "its dark, theres cold jager in the fridge.. you could puke all over yerself and nobodyd care. budwiser in a can. this is hawaii." (anonymous)
Boise
Terry's State Street Saloon - "Lots of BEER! And plenty of drunk bastards to hang out with. Plus, a couple of the bartenders are hot!" (from Matt)
The Broadway Bar - "This is the kind of bar where it's always 11pm--even at ten in the morning. There's nothing quite like coming in for your breakfast shot (for two bucks) and being welcomed by the bartender, Rob. Or the other bartender, also conveniently named Rob. Great jukebox. And bathrooms only a drunk could love--no doors, just curtains for those intent on bonding intimately with strangers." (from Sauced Sarah)
Chicago
Old Town Ale House - "Weird dirty dive in a fancy 'hood. Good tunes, always a few old drunks." (anonymous)
Delilah's - "The jukebox has a great collection of punk. They have more beer selections then any dive bar I've ever been in. They have extremely low lighting so even the fugliest drunken bastard looks good." (anonymous)
The Hollywood Lounge - "Filthy mix of vegetarian Piranhas,punk-classical musician college students, working class sots, Newcastle on tap, live bands and a million songs. Unfortunately, they only have one working TV set from 1963 and a few too many know-it-all neighborhood hicks that hang-out in a little gang." (anonymous)
Jimmy's Woodlawn Tap - "Fits all of the requirements, except the drink specials, but the drinks are reasonable to begin with. Dark, and very encouraging of inebriation." (from Johnny Drunk)
Dayton
Dayton Tap - "Good place to meet on a motorcycle, atv, snowmobile, ect. some goofy guy ate a raw deer heart one time." (from Catfish)
Forest Park
Circle Tap - "Great selection on the juke, small, only one pool table & dart board, but it's still a fantastic place to hang and get pissed. Dark, dank and if you're found on the curb the next afternoon you can grab breakfast at Goldyburgers down the block (Bleu Cheese Burgers are the best.)" (from javakat2k)
Franklin Park
Ballyhoo - "Great jukebox, games, pool table, and people. corner of grand and mannhiem." (anonymous)
Midlothian
Jack's Place - "COLD BEER, LOOSE WOMEN, AND PLENTY OF DRUGS TO GO AROUND" (from Bill The Cop)
Bloomington
The Irish Lion - "Great place to enjoy a pint - reminds of real pubs from England and Sctoland. Great atmospere, awesome food, and full bar. Just whiskey bottles and beer, as far as the eye can see..." (anonymous)
Muncie
The Heorot - "Downside? It's a beer only bar. Upside? It's an awesome beer only abr - dark, good music, and hundreds of beers so great you could spend days trying them all and not get bored." (anonymous)
Waveland
Waveland Pub - "During my youthful indescretion, I would stop at this bar after serving as a raftguide on Sugarcreek in Crawfordsville. Usually, my buddy Ryan and I would take shortcuts through cornfields to sit at this redneck's haven serving only shitty canned beer. A band would always play in the corner and they'd have to stop whenever a patron needed to pass through for the toilet." (from Ryan Proctor)
Lawrence
Fatso's - "Small dive bar with great specials and large shots. No stupid pop crap playing just good ol' bar rock music. Good spot to watch KU basketball games and get really drunk." (anonymous)
Bullwinkle's - a.k.a. "The Bull" - "Rock music, cheap beer, writing all over the walls, and lots of easy/drunk sorority girls. Great "hole in the wall" bar to get the night started." (anonymous)
Topeka
The Spot Tavern - "This is the most comfortable little dive in the whole friggin' country! Schooners of cheap beer, sweet-ass juke box and just a few blocks from the college so that it is a frequent sloppy-drunk chick hang-out. What could be better???" (from Todd Han)
Bowling Green
Betty's - "It's a shit-hole with two pool tables a bar that goes around the place and they play killer drinking music on the juke box, (pre-programmed) No one gets in your buisness and they bring the booze to you. Ya can't beat it this shit-hole town." (anonymous)
Kansas City
Johnny's Tavern, 7th and Pacific - "This bar has been there since 1934. It's crowded, It's small, It pays off on the poker macine. It has a pool table and shuffle board. It has a 2 good looking slutty waitresses and a fatass bartender too. But the best thing about it is the drunk horny professional women (mostly lawyers from city hall)that go there. There are some good looking bimbos that go there just to get laid. This is NOT a yuppie bar! I've seen women there take off thier tops a dance on the pool table! Nothing fancy but alot of fun." (from Mick)
Louisville
Shenanigan's - "This bar is the shit, because 1.00 drafts and 5.00 pitchers. Because of Mickey the bartender, who got us shitfaced with his "PoP" and then called us after he got off work to keep getting drunk." (anonymous)
Freddie's - "hideous, dusty and 70's style booths....a big orange cat (who owns the bar by the way) walks across the bar around midnight for a snack before heading for the storage closet for its nightly sleep..cheap drinks and a jukebox..." (anonymous)
Woody's Tavern - "Drink and Drown's on Tuesday and Thursday's, free pool, and always a good, friendly crowd. Though it is a gay bar, so you have to watch your backside...literally at times...it's pretty much open to anyone. Bartenders make strong drinks on the cheap ($3 for well drinks)." (anonymous)
Pikeville
Marlow's Country Palace - "The Hillbillies that only come out of the hills to drink to Marlow's music" (submitted anonymously)
Baton Rouge
The Thirsty Tiger - "$1 PBR. $1 High Life. Back Patio adjoins the trash dumpsters, from the top of which one can gaze upon the Mississippi. No pretense, no airs, no fancy martinis. Oh, and if you tip well, the bartender will sell you a sixer to go at closing time." (from Thirsty No More)
New Orleans
F & M - "dancing on the pool table" (sent by hot nola chick)
Snake & Jake - "the eccentric people" (from hot nola chick)
Wild Bar - "Looks like a western bar on Bourbon St., but appearances are deceiving. 3 for 1 drinks @ happy our. Karaoke that draws big crowds." (from RCJ)
Portland
The Great Lost Bear - "See for yourself... www.greatlostbear.com. It is one of the best bars on earth..." (anonymous)
Baltimore
The Montford - "Flanked by 2 TVs the bar has a friendly bartendter...$ .50 pool in the back and cocktail drinks for $ 2.50 and beer for $1.25. It is a local joint for the Baltimore locals that has been around for 50 years." (thanks to Bill)
The Blarney Stone - "This place is great because you can go in there, be loud and crazy, or you can go in there and just relax and the one never crosses the other...the loud crazy people are not distracted with the pussy ones and vice versa...Juke box is great...lots of hard rock and Irish drinking songs..the bartenders are wild and the one big guy can throw down an Irish Car Bomb in under three seconds...Easy women too" (from Rich)
Ocean City
Kirby's Pub - "-Bartenders get twice as fucked up as patrons.-drunken women with tops off usually by midnight-food is outstanding base for a night of solid drinking-oh yeah, natural light in the can" (anonymous)
Rockville
Hank Dietle's - "Established in 1916 and not much has changed. Place used to be an old schoolhouse, with genuine wood floors that creak as you walk across it. Opposite one of the poshest malls in the area, charges less for a beer ($1.80 for a domestic draft) than most people tip the valets across the street. Three types of jerky and an assortment of chips, as well as other menu items. A few TVs and open mic night on Fridays. A low rent place in a high rent area. Pretty much walking distance to Grosvenor Red Line subway station." (from Pondo)
Billerica
Mickey's Sports Bar - "What's better than having "good times" in Billerica??? Having drinks in a dimly lit, shady looking, hole in the wall with "old friends" (some that you havent seen in years and others you wished you hadn't seen at all.) This "interesting" establishment is located by the "beautiful area" of Nuttings Lake. The crowd is a nice mixture of all walks of life. (The old, the young, the biker's, The I wish I was a biker's, The cheek lickers, or anyone lacking "drama" in their lives. If that weren't enough...they have pool tables, live local bands, and if you're lucky the cop on duty might be a hottie (or not). Sound like fun...leave your morals at home and stop on by." (from "The 'Greedy' Chicks)
Boston
Black Horse Tavern (Fanuiel Hall, under Durgin Park)
Bell in Hand Tavern (just off Fanuiel Hall - the oldest pub in the U.S.)
Tim's Tavern, Columbus Ave. (Good burgers and icy Buds) (submitted by SMabel)
The Green Dragon
The Dugout - "cheap good beer in glass pitchers" (anonymous)
Brighton
Joey's - "All locals...everyone knows everyone. When a stranger walks in the record scratches and everyone turns to them and stares....bartenders are great and if you're not a regular good luck getting a beverage, and if you are a regular god luck leaving there sober..." (anonymous)
Cambridge
The Sail Loft - "great after-work or during-work bar, filled with ex-dotcomers and ex-economic consultants." (submitted by Henri-Claude)
Dracut
Deb's Lakeside Lounge - "This bar has hot bartenders, cheap drinks or should I say inexpensive drinks. Live bands that play awesome kick ass music. The locals are harmless yet abundant. You can tell a local by the few teeth they actually possess. The people are trapped in an 80's time warp so break out those acid wash jeans and plaster your hair into a giant stiffy. Go with frineds, leave the fashion citations at home and have a great time." (from Not So Coyote Ugly)
Shooter's Sports Bar - "small town bar, everyone knows everyone, great bartenders, great music...always something going on, plenty of pool tables, and always some kind of drama to keep you entertained." (from amarion)
Jokers - "Small little bar great drinks, wear a body condom and you cant leave the bar standing or they throw you out!" (anonymous)
Lowell
EVO's Art Institute - "As long as you go at night your safe. It's a 2 part bar, the right side is for artsy fartsy fucks who wear sweater vests, but at night the left side opens up. They got plenty of beer , bottled and tap, and even some live tunes upstairs. It gets nice and crammed, and has some good looking chicks too." (anonymous)
Molly Kay's - "Tiny little rinky-dink shit hole hideaway under a bridge (almost quite literally)Where the local broads want to hide from their spouses for a good time. And the college "boys" enjoy their presence;-)" (anonymous) (and this makes it bad WHY?!?!)
Maynard
Blue Coyote Grill - "Used to be the biggest shit pit in Maynard (Amories). Was just sold to a new ownership group and they hired the HOTTEST OF PIECES OF ASS (thats plural) to bartend and waitress in the lounge. nice mix of townie drunks and shithead yuppies from monster dot com." (anonymous)
Newburyport
Auntie Susie's Boathouse, Bath-House, and Bat House - "ME!" (seblake sent this one)
Springfield
Mory's Pub - "This bar is a hole in the wall with great prices. Not many places you can go to in mass and get a pitcher for $4. This place used to be a great bar for the colleges of the area, until some stuff went down. There is a new owner there now, and things are looking up. Great live entertainment Wed-Sat... another great thing about this college bar is that its 18+ wed-sat. not many bars in the area do this besideds cocktails which is small and overpriced... Check out this spot sometime if you're in the springfield area." (anonymous)
Sophia's - "It is your simple whole in the wall joint slamming happy hour food (wings, pizza, and on occasion some subs) When you order your beer by the pint not bottle the bartenders store the glasses in a freezer and when you get the beer their is frost on the glass. THe music selection is always respectable. The bartenders are great always taking care of the drunken customer by supplying them more alcohol. You will see people in there right at opening rippin shots of tequila, jager bombs, whiskey etc and might as well be drinking straight from the pitcher. This place is an excellent place for boozing. (FYI Morys no longer exists. It is now paddys) " (anonymous)
Tewksbury
J. Rags - "Nice local bar/restaurant where all the town drunks congregate after work to compare beer bellies" (from Mel)
Mavericks - "Great place to have some dinner and/or drinks, play pool or Keno in a dimly lit hole in the wall. For the more adventurous type: you'll find the local bar whore's (as they float in and out of the area dives) or if your looking for your spouse ( who's allegedly at work, working overtime) Im sure you can find them there too popping back a few with old friends and family. P.S. If you don't want to be spotted here, just make sure you park your vehicle in one of the parking spots around back, that should do the trick. Enjoy!!" (from SHE DEVIL)
Worcester
Three Gs Bar - "Meets all of the qualifications, Dark as night at noon, Captain and Cokes are typically 70+% booze and just colored with coke. All food is good; heart attack fuel. (MMMmmm grease). Great place if your plan is to get to fucked up enough to piss your pants and not care...I have twice. NO "Pretty" People" (submitted anonymously)
Goodfella's - "A little bit pricy, this bar has over a hundred martinis and is as about an authentic a place as its name implies..." (anonymous)
Cadillac
Roaring 20s - "Zero bullshit, cheap beers, hot girls. (well, some not so hot, but hey). The local drunk bastards chilling spot. Couple of pool tables, one of which gets a piece of plywood over the top of it, when it gets busy, to serve as a pitstop for drinks, on the way to the dance floor." (from Harry)
Cedar
Cedar Tavern - "Right across the street from Pleva's Meats, this Leelanau County gem sports cheap drinks, great atmosphere, and during the annual polka fest, one helluva crowd. A classic small-town dive - the tavern never fails to provide the perfect setting for a great night out. My last visit earned it's nomination here, as I spent a few hours pontificating with a remarkably articulate toothless personality and his wife....good times." (from Brizz)
Detroit
Jimmy's Ballpark, in Allen Park on Dix just off Outer Drive (from Amy)
The Well - "(1) fat, stinky, but friendly bartender named Willis; (2) dark atmosphere to beautify all living creatures; (3) cheap beers and the best damn Newcastle you ever had; (4) lastly and most important, it's in Detroit!" (submitted anonymously)
Ol' Shillelagh - "Ol' Shillelagh is not your ordinary Irish pub, this place goes the whole nine yards! With live Irish bands upstairs and down, its one big fuckin' drunkfest. Beautiful women are everywhere, with usually at least a few bachelorette parties on the weekends. After the band kicks off upstairs, beer sloshing and swaggering patrons soon follow shortly after. Quite possibly the most drunks per square foot of any bar!" (submitted by Ed Chesher)
Bert's Eastern Market (submitted anonymously)
Eagle
The Eagle Inn - "This bar is so back woods it's not even funny. They sell the cheapest drinks, the waitresses are trashy, the karaoke is anything but spectacular and most of the men just got done farming or working on their John Deere. But if you want a place where you can just relax and get wasted, it's the bar for you. (anonymous)
Hell
Dam Site Inn - "full of drunk biker and hilljack bastards most of the time...a lot of road trips pass through Hell and this is the only bar...used to be more rustic, but they painted it." (from DC)
Lansing
Cactus Juice Saloon - "In order to enjoy this hole in the wall, you might want to wear your ten gallon and shine up your biggest, gaudiest belt buckle. This bar is great for cowboys or just those who would rather joke at the honky tonk lifestyle than empty their wallets trying to land some pretentious chick's phone number at Harper's. The beer flows and the Texas two-step goes, but the real entertainment is the mechanical bull. Just watching all the drunk women ride the bull will either make you fall in love or run for the bathroom. Get to know the fat guy who operates the bull; he's the owner and might hook you up. Don't worry about being 21 either, as long as you look the part they'll let you in even if you look as ridiculously young as Ashton Kutcher next to Demi Moore. Tell them you're in the Michigan State Rodeo Club and you'll be set." (from Don Benzino)
Stober's - "The bar itself is something to behold....that and the two taps pouring Miller, the giant jar of pickled eggs, the shuffleboard, the rockin jukebox, and the fantastically accomodating bartenders. It is one of the coolest bars i've ever set foot in, and that's saying something. A dive in every sense of the word (down to the trough in the men's room), Stober's oozes character and no one could ever feel anything but at home there. Drinks are ridiculously cheap, but a good time is always had by all." (from Brizz)
Manistee
1st Street Tavern - "GOOD Beer on tap great drinks and friendly people. It is what a bar is supposed to be before a bar needed a theme. Authentic oh yeah don't foget about the moose." (from Frank)
Marquette
The Village Pub - "It has great people, great music, and its a hole in the wall. Thats it, no frills just drunken bastardliness" (anonymous)
Monroe
Jerry's Frenchtown Bar - "Just because they've got the best Mexican night, great variety of beer, wonderful mixed drinks, and the people aren't bad either. Besides, I can walk up there. It's just fucking great!!" (from asbrown)
Temperance
The Michigan Tavern - "This place hasn't had any new air since 1968!!! I imagine it's even worse since the smoking ban in Toledo...Extremely LOUD bands, Inexpensive booze...Thursday nites Fat toothless women drink free (or at least it seems) Friday Night No cover for anyone with a full set of teeth,don't have to be your own neccessarily, just a full set. People at the bar tend to get really drunk . it's not uncommon to watch someone pause in front of the stage on their way to the toilet to vomit. Don't stand too close to the guy next toyou if you don't want piss on your shoes. Hard to beleive that with all this ambience, some decent lookin drunken slutty lookin girls come in... a lot of people lookin to cheat on their mates as well...Chances are if you sloppy drunken sex with someone who's tattoed this is your place...Just don't sit in the corner Bar seat by the door, that's the seat where the guy shot his wife through the window!!!" (anonymous)
Minneapolis
Stand Up Frank's - "Notorious scrapyard neighborhood dive with no seats and the cheapest, strongest drinks in town, guaranteed to put you on the floor. Absolutely unbeatable." (anonymous)
Hexagon - "Well this is a nasty little bar in my neihborhood where memories can be made. They ocasionaly have live music. It's close to a bowling alley and a diner, but be carful who you bring home. This bar also has meat raffles. Theres nothing better than a trashy bar with trashy people and meat raffles." (anonymous)
Virginia
Frank's Bar - "you can freely beat people up , smoke dope, watch an occasional girl strip and dance on the bar , get beat up yoursef, and the best part is if the cops come No One Saw Anything! The cops dont care either!!!" (from a dancer)
Jackson
Pop's Around The Corner - "Tastefully located on the outskirts of town and nestled between several "Gentlemen's Clubs" exists the epitome of Great Drunk Bastard Bars---Pop's. Altho hard to prance across the gravel parking lot in ones cha-cha pumps,it's well worth the cover charge to enter. Wave to the same people who've been coming here for the past 40 years, precariously perched on their naugahyde barstools. Listen to the music of a local band while drinking an ice-cold beer and munching on some Dixon's Hot BBQ pork rinds. The white paper bar napkins DO come in handy for wiping the orange MSG off ones fingers. No blenders grace the bar area,,no marguerita nor hurricane glasses suspended above the barkeep's head. The drinks are so strong they could take the paint off a chrome trailer hitch. Be sure and check ones purse for Visine,,as the ciggie smoke is thick,,and a girl has to keep an eye out for a potential "ride home". A good catch would be the guy in the cleam blue jeans, white t-shirt and cap that proclaims Treflan as the greatest pesticide of all times. The tiny dance floor, sticky with spilled drinks and god knows what else,,is far enough away from the dart boards for one to feel fairly safe from injury. Be sure not to turn your back to the outside,,as an errant pool cue may inexplicably find a girls dress hem and result in an embarassing "America's funniest Home Video" moment. Sooo,,if its drinks worth the price,,music worth the cover charge or men worth sleeping with,,,,Pop's is the best bet in town. Or at least,,the Best Great Drunk Bastard Bar in town!!!!!" (from aladynevertells)
Kiln
The Broke Spoke - "This bar is in the middle of nowhere but is close enough to get to for a good binge. Owned by a fat fuck who also bartends, Cheap beer, a couple pool tables, what else does a drunk bastard need? Oh yea Bret Farve grew up in kiln Mississippi, they say his dad still lives there and the ole Farve boys are known to frequent the place from time to time." (submitted by Insane Bastard)
Oxford
The Burgundy Room - "Its small, crampt, and there's lots of people - but there's lots of liquor, great music, and the wait staff is very hospitable... make sure you go after the Ole Miss Rebels win a football game!" (anonymous)
Crestwood
Abyeta's - "Karaoke, 64oz beers. Oh, and the fact that I have been drinking there for 3 years now, everyone knows me, I have a tab, and I just turned 19." (From The Paperman)
St. Louis
Magee's - "holy shit, the beer flows like wine. live music 7 days a week. 75cent stag and pbr bottles and dont forget the usually free foosball." (from Digger)
St. Peters
All Stars Pub and Grill - "Coldest beer in the county, Best damn 1/2 pound burger you ever had, killer wings, and the help is hot!" (from Art)
Butte
Maloney's - "The bartenders are among the finest I've ever encountered. I've actually seen one of the co-owners asleep on the floor of the men's pisser. It has damn regular hours, and is only closed on Christmas. St. Patrick's Day is a sight to see." (from PR)
Gallatin Gateway
Corral Bar - "This bar begins at 8AM legally serving local brews, bloody mary's, and shots of your favorite whiskey. (plus much, much more) You never know if you're gonna run into a local legend or just one of the local hot little river rats that work there. The floors are uneven. The walls are covered with dead animals, and if you time it right, you can hear Montana's greatest honkey tonk band "Montana Rose" free of charge- sawdust included. In case of intoxication emergency... please contact their menu- great enough to soak up anything you've managed to drill down. I mean anything. By yourself? Devon and Dave are there to bullshit with you on any given night. Wanna hear a story that rivals the old westerns? The TRUTH is here, under your shot glass and wounded heart." (from D & D's AL Bartender)
Wibaux
Firelight Bar - "Beer at a buck twenty five, bottle or can, cold as your ex ol'lady's twat. NO sissy shit mixed drinks - whiskey, vodka, gin they got, want somethin' else - get the fuck out. Take a shot of hundred proof hot damn if ya want somethin' sweet. Sweat your balls off in the summer, freeze 'em off in the winter, who the fuck cares you're here to get FUCKIN WASTED! The women who come in here will either drink your ass under the table & fuck your eyes out, or just fuck you up if they're in a bad mood. No pussy assed DJ, just an old jukebox with country & old rock music to listen to. One pool table, a dart board & some poker machines. Yeah, Firelight, "I love this Bar"." (from What A Drunk Fucker)
Dover
Daniel's Sports Bar - "Great local bar. Everyone knows your name and the bartenders know what they drink BEFORE you sit down. A pool table, plenty of pitchers at a decent price and drink until you can't make it down the stairs to leave!" (from Spicy McHaggis)
Hampton Beach
Le Bec Rouge - "Three Levels of entertainment all in one place-- (especially the upper outside deck and the lower sports bar.) Great food,awesome drinks, hot bartenders and bouncers, and live music that actually "rocks" (instead of that shit that makes you feel like you wanna slit your wrists just to make it go away.) Great place to go and have fun when summer rolls around. Even at the dullest moment there always seems to be some sort of "entertainment" going on around you. (If your really lucky you just might be there when the tow truck convention rolls in & end up going home with pockets full of canadian money for no apparent reason. =)(MEL) Go there just once we guarantee you'll like it..;)" (from SHE-DEVIL and Pimpin Pumpkin)
Manchester
Uptown Tavern - "It is dark - and dirty, but with cute bartenders & shot girls, kick ass steak tip dinner!!! - live bands, mostly metal.. pool tables - big buck hunter!!! and I believe upstair a lil hip-hop type club to ignore, ha ha ha!!! " (from crazy bitch)
Chester
Old Mill Tavern - "This is a great fuckin' bar. 23 Beeers on tap, plus whatever else is in the refrigerators. Beer of the day 2.00. The pint glasses and oversized mugs are all frozen, and wed night is dollar mug night. Greasiest shit is the world to eat. Nothing like a BBQ beef with Cheddar and some cheese fries on the side. And there's always a pickle. The jutebox has some scary selections at times, but for the most part, it's not that bad. The bartenders are great, the beers always cold and the the shots always go down smooth, especially the the iced Blackhous, Jager, and Rumple. All in all, a nice, dark smoke filled place to sit and get fucked up." (from Roland)
Pennsauken
Connie Mac's - "Purpose, to get the booze from the bottle to the liver as quickly as possible. And plenty of parking!" (from Omar)
The Jughandle, Route 73 and Fork Landing Road - "big, dark, all wood, basement has pool & shuffleboard, just opened up deck on back in the woods, local bands on weekends" (anonymous)
????
Jay's Elbow Room, Route 73 between 295 and Route 38 - "a local legend, the best wings, has deck now" (anonymous)
Albuquerque
The Tavern - "lots of meat to look at while getting shitfaced" (submitted by Aaron)
Red River
The Bull of the Woods Saloon - "There is a slut there named "Henri" who will fuck ANYONE." (anonymous)
Albany
Palais Royale - "This bar is old school like your grandfather's basement. Fine wood paneling graces the walls along with 2 old school jukeboxes with nothing later than the 80's. Also a kickass (I think) Dolly Parton pinball machine that is so old, the slope on the machine is damn near flat. Behind the bar are shelves full of awesome knickknacks, from presidential memorabilia to old guns, and an even older jar of bar sausages. Beg for the popcorn, made on an old jiffy-pop type machine and be kind to the old lady behind the bar, (she don't take no shit) and of course Rocky, the 500 year old owner of the place. Easily the best dive bar in NY's capital." (from 5 Drunken Immortals)
Buffalo
The Holiday House, Delaware Avenue (from Adam)
Royal Pheasant - "Super ecceltic joint, where both quasi-homeless people and City councilmen pass out face down on the bar, but you can still get Surf and Turf at 3:00 am. Martinis, Cosmos and Gimlets served in a full size glass, with a full sidecar, all for 4.25$ (Stoli Vodka). Bizzare horse race decor and copious naugahyde add to atmosphere." (from xylene)
Colonie
Truman's - "$0.75 drafts - do I need to say any more?? Nasty greasy cheesesteaks at 2 a.m. when the owner is the Original Drunk Bastard and falls down the stairs on the way out. Jukebox dancing and God fucking damn NYS for banning smoking but yeah for the Can the Ban signs with the nasty whores out front chain smoking! AMEN" (anonymous)
Elmhurst - Queens
BV's (Woodhaven Blvd. just below the LIE)
New York
Bar None - "this is a great FUCKING bar.. aright?? every night $20 bottomless cup, hot women, awesome music, hot bartenders, BUT ITS KINDA SMALL" (from McGoo)
Rudy's Bar and Grill, 627 9th Avenue (from John B.)
Kennedy's, 327 West 57th Street (from John B.)
PJ Clarke's, corner of 55th Street and 3rd Avenue
The Night Cafe, Amsterdam Avenue at 106th Street - "A real neighborhood bar for drinking." (submitted by Fred)
McSorley's Old Ale House, 7th Street between 2nd and 3rd Aves - see "My Life" (August 11, 2002) for the review.
Thom's Bar - "All the women...ladies...long legs...every where!!!" (This was sent in as a "Bad Drunk Bastard Bar"... with that kind of review, I'm still trying to figure why) (submitted by Jason Raymond)
Grassroots Tavern, 20 St. Mark's Place (between 2nd and 3rd Avenues) - Cheap drinks, basement-style darkness, and a resident dog and cat to keep the clientele amused.
The 19th Hole - "You never know who you're going to find there---always an interesting crowd. The bartenders are true bartenders and they know how to treat a bar patron. Its a little hole in the wall, but its a great time. You can either bring friends and make the party or go and make friends--ones you would never expect to make in your life." (anonymous)
The Slaughtered Lamb (Greenwich Village) - "This bar is is like Jackal and Hyde's, I think they have the same owner. Any way it is pretty great, it's a pub and not a club. But they have hot chicks that come around and offer you shots, and you can chat with you friends, without that over crowded club feel. I always have a great time there! Have a yard while your there, the only draw back is the bathrooms! They are tiny, but as long as you don't have to puke you should be fine!" (anonymous)
Peekskill
Payoffs (from Steven)
Pendleton
Ship 'n' Shore - "bar room has a nice hunting/fishing/racing theme along with like a dozen old neon signs" (anonymous submission)
Rochester
Dinosaur Barbecue (from fieldpo)
Rocky Mount
Chico's - "it's the best fucking bar you will ever lay your pathetic eyes on you silly little bitch it has all the makings to be the best." (from Chris)
Sylvan Beach
The Crazy Clam - "located right on the water, you can drive a boat there or a car. the place attracts bikers, businessmen and just about everyone else. booze flows freely and fights are very infrequent. flashing is a more common occurence. the owners are mike and kelly and they are very cool and extremely generous. the only down side is they are closed during the winter." (from Ron)
Watertown
Coleman's Corner - "Small and cozy, Guiness Flowing Smmothly, slightly sweet but ribald serving wenches" (from emteehedz)
Westhampton
Finn McCool's - "Sports/Irish bar, Tues. wing nights, specials on special days (i.e. Superbowl and St. Patty's), indoor/outdoor. Ask for Jay, half the bartenders have the same name. Darts tournament is ongoing, music is self-serve, bartenders prefer the harder rock." (anonymous)
Carrboro
Speakeasy - "Dark, 3 pool tables (free on Mondays), fucking great beers on tap (with PBR thrown in, 'cause hey, sometimes you fucking need some PBR). More promotional neons, mirrors, etc. then you can shake a stick at. There's a back room with like 85 couches and beer bottles from fucking Roman times. Oh, and one of the bartenders is a really hot Irish chick from Belfast." (from Mack The Knife)
Charlotte
The Milestone Club - "Live music bar and a real shithole since 1969. Awesome people, more grafitti than you can read in a lifetime, and some of the best and strangest musical acts ever. Check thier website for show schedule. www.Themilestoneclub.com " (anonymous)
Bismarck
Main Bar - "While on a mind numbing journey from Alaska, we stumbled into this shit hole. Four people 86'd in the first 20 minutes. Rough hard drinking crowd,very few teeth..seems to be alot of Native Americans. Drinks were strong and cheap but what a bunch of rough bastards!" (anonymous)
Akron
Annabelle's - "$1 draft everyday, $.50 draft on Thursdays, free chili dogs on Sundays, $3 steak dinner on Monday nights after 8pm (complete with salad & roll, I've had worse steak for $15 in Cleveland, no shit - always get two). Beer on tap is cold and diverse. Popular neighborhood hang out complete w/ dark & eclectic interior, interesting regulars, old drunk gentlemen, local young professionals, university girls, rugby teams, & an all-wench/maid bartending staff that'll pour you a gratis beer & show you their tattoo though you didn't ask for either. Best jukebox in Akron with stuff from The Black Keys, Johnny Cash and everything in between. Stage is in the basement (home to the Dirty Rotten Punk Festival - last year's unfortunately lived up to every word) along w/ a pool table and the obligatory 2nd bar which shows they know what's important. If you're an asshole, we will throw you out & the dyke rugby girls will act like they helped. You will like it." (from Adolf Oliver Bush)
Athens
Union Bar and Grill - "cheap pabst blue ribbon, high octane drinks at a reasonable price, oldest bar in town, music ranging from johnny cash to the cows, live music, of the original variety, lets get fuuuuuucked up!" (thanks to Chris Biester)
Cincinnati
Submarine Galley - "The jukebox is good and cheap. The drinks are cheap. There is always somebody passed out somewhere. The local trash is friendly. Rock n Roll and ghetto come together. The best part: People have died in the bathroom of over doses. Also, frequented by any rockstars coming through town." (from an anonymous source)
Cleveland
Harbor Inn - "If you want P.Diddy or a Red Bull/Vodka- steer the fuck clear of this joint. No sign, no windows, no bullshit. What else do you want from a bar? Without a doubt my favorite bar in the country, I visit whenever I am in Cleveland. Kick-ass bowling arcade game (like a straight man's skee ball), cool fucking bartenders, a great juke box, and zero attitude. Plus, a great sausage stand just a thirty second stumble away. 42 stars...." (from Jeff Walker)
Cridersville
The Village - "Just a small town bar with a lot of great people working there, they have a lot of good parties, hog roasts, and an awesome yearly motorcycle poker run....the Critter Run!" (anonymous)
Dayton
Tumbleweed Connection - "The owner goes off on three day binges. The manager is over three hundred and rude to the point of a laugh riot. All the female bartenders will put you in your fucking place at the drop of a hat. Great food from 8 in the morning to 3 in the afternoon. Free hotdogs at 4 to close and free pizza on Friday. The regulars bottle babies and well drinkers. We don't like yuppies, fags or street people. You want to use the bathroom buy a fuckin drink.....no exceptions!" (anonymous)
Gilboa
Stinky's Country Well - "Anything goes! People dancing on the bar! Bartender very entertaining. No lexuses or any bull shit. Down home feeling. Alot of good time partiers!! even have wall full of panties and bras!!" (anonymous)
Lakewood
McCarthy's Ale House - "Home of the cheap ass beer! $1.50 pints of domestic drafts (only a measly fucking $1 Sundays and 50 cents on Monday!) Kinda small so it gets crowded on Friday and Saturday nights, but then all the young (21-28 y/o's) come out to find someone to bang. Thursdays and Sundays are ladie's nights. They usually have decent live bands on the weekends. Service can be a bitch when it's crowded. Overall a good time for the money when you can get hammered for less than a $20." (from Don)
Russell's Point
Thirsy Turtle - "drink prices lunch specials killer burrito tenders with shitty attitudes much likr the rest of us also there 12 bars in the vincinity and it is near indian lake ohio wich is one of the drunkenist places on fucking earth " (from Scott Hurst)
Toledo
Good Times - "1$ bud and bud light cans on all day/night on Thursdays and Sundays. Cute barmaids/waitresses. Great, cheap food. Lots of YOUNG drunk sluts (nighttime only). This bar is for beer drinkers. Great prices on beer, but they charge too much for shots and mixed drinks." (from Hairball)
Loma Linda's - "It's not just a bar. It's a Mexican restaurant but I would rate the marguiritas as THE best I've had and I have had them from Northern Michigan to Key West to Las Vegas. They won't share the recipe so don't ask. They bring them out from a back room by the pitcher full and serve them in short glasses for safety sake. If you like Marguiritas, this is the place. Three to four will more than do the trick. A must for anybody traveling through the Toledo area." (from Goehlers)
Papa's Tavern - "This East Toledo hang out is tucked way back in the middle of a residential area, it is a "Biker" bar, but it's an old over the hill "I used to be a bad ass but now I'm so old all I can do is sit here and drink my beer and wheeze while I smoke another Marlboro" For the most part the patrons are harmless and won't bother you unless you feed them. Drinks are cheap, Blues on Thursday night pot luck bands on the weekends...Not unusual to see a Harley or two parked out front in the middle of January, They used to freely smoke dope out back on the patio, it's been a while since I've been there...Unfortunately the chick factor is somewhat lacking, primarily consists of old tired boozers who look as attractive as their old grizzled close to 60 ish boyfriends....Papa is a good guy on Thursday night he imports Pizza's from his Pizza Joint across the street and has an all you can eat Pizza Buffet for a buck...He's got some of the best Pizza in Toledo as well..." (anonymous)
Wooster
The Nold - "The Nold is a dark smoky hole of hope in Wayne County: open till closing time, drinking smoke heavily encouraged (essential even), $3 pitchers of beer, tons of pussy. I mean the last both literally & metaphorically. If you can't get laid here, go put your head under one of the stamping presses at Gerstenslager's. The tables are illuminated by the soft glow of a vintage Harley-Davidson rear fender light. The local chicks fishing for trouser trout by making out together half-naked in the corner, look best in that light. So do you. Highly recommended." (from Ollie Churpuzi)
Portland
Pop O' Top Tavern - "Dirt cheap pitchers,nasty crack-whore looking strippers & Greasy food.(Not to mention the 20 blow jobs you can get next door!)The only strip bar i know where you can get ripped & rather see the bartenders nude!" (from King Sauce)
East Stroudsburg
Lackawawana Tavern - "its a great townie bar, thre are as many women there as teeth in the peoples mouths (which isnt that much) its cheap beer, great drunk stories and u the best kareoki" (anonymous)
Harrisburg
Shady McGrady's - "Cheap Lager on draft and full of drunk bastards, slunking in the perpetual indoors twilight, avoiding the more happening bars downtown. I know this chick who once puked on the bar, and they served her again before they even cleaned it up. That's hardcore." (from some guy who loves Shady's)
Philadelphia
McGlinchey's, 15th Street - "first off, this bar hasnt been remodeled since 1976. the stained glass windows are filthy, the tables are cramped, the bar isnt big enough to serve the crowd it serves, there is always some psuedo-yuppy couple/party taking up too much fucking space and wrecklessy bumping into you as you try to sip your cheap pint, and the bathroom hasnt seen a drop of bleach since the berlin wall fell. BUT, the jukebox is amazing, the vast majority of patrons are chill as fuck, and the drinks are dirt cheap. this place sucks so fucking bad that its one of the best bars on the east coast." (from Jay)
Pittsburgh
Mardi Gras, Walnut Street (double Stoli rocks in a pint glass for $8) (from Matthew)
Jack's in the South Side - "Where else can you get any shot under $3, including car bombs. Most beers are also under $3. Also offers a few Hot females strutting through the bar." (from Guido)
Silky's Sports Bar (Squirrel Hill - not the nudey bar in McKees Rocks) - "Classic rock, new rock, lots of rock, TVs everywhere to watch all the Burgh teams (watch them lose apparently), college waitresses that ALWAYS remember your name and what you drink, and AWESOME food!" (from Erin)
Quakertown
Wagon Wheel - "All of the above" (anonymous)
Wilkes-Barre
Donaghue's Hour Glass - "A killer dive bar located pretty much in the ghetto of Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. I think it was on Main St. Just ask a local. A blast out of the 70's, this place is run by one man who does it all, Joe, behind the bar, the nicest damn guy you'll ever meet. Tip him a buck or two and he'll probably buy you back. Genesee on tap is a buck a glass, shots of Jameson's were only $2.50 and the jukebox is pretty damn good too. The island bar is nicely marbled, with awesome diamond shaped hanging lights above.. The best part though may be the back room, a killer lounge area with a stage and mini-dance floor that would be great for comedy or an Elvis Impersonator, but unfortunately it is only Joe running the whole place, and he says to do any kind of shows back there would require more help. This place rules." (from 5 Drunken Immortals)
William's Grove
Cold Springs Inn - "you got psycho kim, moanin cronin, a painter whos now a fugitive in australia for a 3rd dui chg., regular ass whoopins in the parking lot, but good food, cold beer, good fishin in the yellow breeches. brad & barb own the shit hole don't forget your semse of humer, because they don't accept whinneing & complaints!" (anonymous) "got cut off yesterday: anyhow, they love their nascar, this is no puffty harrisburg bar! jeff gordon & cross dressers need not to enter! located just down the road from the one of the last sprint car tracks. and watch for that slut psycho kkkkkkkkkk k i m." (from M.I.A.)
Newport
Billy Goode's - "it is a perfect description of your ideal dive bar. open mic nights are great. monday blues night, grammy nominated paul jeremiah plays there and there's never a cover. dirt cheap drinks, no blenders, no dress code, no anything code. just get drunk and act how you want. also, the place makes you feel young. all ages from 21-65." (from Stacey V.)
Charleston
Big John's (on East Bay near The Market) (from Coastie)
Columbia
Group Therapy (in Five Points) (from Coastie)
Kelly's Deli and Pub - "it's a place those of us that work in restaurants and bars go when we get off of work, usually a large amount of drunk chicks on the bar, cheap drinks and big leather couches that i once fell asleep on only to be woken up by the bartender at last call (about 6 am) to be served another drink before i went home" (from Sidejaw)
Hilton Head Island
Captain Woody's - "Very few rules. On the water loaded with boat captains and cute girls. Harley friendly. Stop in or check out their web site: http://www.captainwoodys.com" (from Luke)
New Underwood
World's Smallest Biker Bar - "WHAT HAPPENS THERE STAYS THERE!" (from Heather)
Rapid City
Buck-N-Gator - "YOU JUST HAVE TO BE THERE!" (from Heather)
Sioux Falls
The Top Hat - "Even the bar wench is a drunk bastard! :)" (anonymous)
Chattanooga
Buck Wild - "No cover, cheap STRONG drinks, half-dressed sweaty college girls grinding all night long on the dance floor. And they don't give a shit how drunk you get." (from Darius)
Wheels and the Other Side - "No cover on most nights, over 20 dart boards, shitloads of pool tables, tons of hot bitches, huge dancefloor(with associated hot bitches), a LOUD fucking jukebox, cheap drinks strong enough to burn your throat. People passed out at tha bar, fights in the parking lot, Hell, what more could you ask for in a drunkbastard bar?" (From Scott)
Knoxville
The Back Door - "Located on kingston pike not too far west of the college campus. It is a bar on top of a liquor store. This is a no frills back door bar with horse shoes and pic-nic tables out back. Lots of college girls too. Not very big but that will keep 'em close." (from Ozzy)
The Spot - "This is one of the best beer bars I have ever been to. With two patios and live music almost every night, it is a great place to unwind and have a few. Good regular crowd with a lot of bnad followers so there always someone new coming in. Check them out at http://www.beerspot.net" (anonymous)
Memphis
Raiford's Hollywood Club - "There's a pimp that stands outside the door, and the bartender serves only 40oz beer. Bring your own liquor, but I doubt you'll need it." (submitted by Rebel)
Nashville
The Flying Saucer - "Flying Saucer serves more than 200 different beers with more than 70 on tap all the time. It hosts a club known as the UFO Club. You pay a small membership fee to enter the club. The goal is to drink 200 different beers at which point you get a $100 tab on the house and your name on a gold plate that goes on the ceiling. It's an extremely cool bar that also has pool tables and darts. The food is definitely geared towards beer drinkers and is very tasty. The only drawback to the bar is that some of the beers are rather pricey, as in $15-$20 apiece. However, most of the really interesting tasty ones, even though rare, aren't much more than $5 on tap or $7 in a bottle. Even if you don't join the UFO Club, it's a worthwhile experience to walk in and quaff a few brews." (anonymous)
Austin
The Gingerman - "Over 80 kind beers on tap and around 30 more in bottles. Nice people, distinct lack of yuppies and rich fucks...plus you can take your dog in there with you." (anonymous)
Dallas
The Wild Turkey - "$1.10 drafts Mon-Thursday, big screen TV to watch the games and a deck to watch the hookers stroll by on Walnut Hill!" (sent anonymously)
Houston
The Gingerman, located in the Rice Village (rated one of the top beer bars in the US) (from Greg)
Huntsville
Zach's Bar and Grill - "32 OZ BIG BEERS SERVED IN A MASON JAR FOR ONLY $2.75 (AND ONLY $1.75 ON SAT.) AKA BIG ASS BEERS
CHEAP FOOD, AND EVEN BETTER, EASY WOMEN.
WHAT MORE CAN A MAN WANT.....FROZEN JAGERMEISTER SHOTS FOR ONLY THREE BUCKS!!!! DRINK UP BOYS AND GIRLS!" (from Jeremy S.)Knoxville
Copper Cellar - "Fucking great microbrewery, right in middle of UT campus, so there's lots of hot chicks with low self-esteems." (from Mr. Blonde)
San Marcos
Was Riley's - "This bar is fantastic. You can drink beer from bottles or cans for around $1.50 - 2.00 depending. They have all the Texas favorites. Used to have an 8 track player hooked up to speakers with a hundred 8 tracks laying around for customers to just pop in a tape and play. 1 free pool table and shuffleboard. This place has live music, a back yard you can BBQ on and the scenery is great. Overlooking Devil's backbone. You can have them cook you up a greasy hamburger and fries anytime of the day or night. If you get a wild hair, ask for a marker and feel free to put your john hancock anywhere in the bar you can find a free space. This place mainly prospects to motorcycle riders and local farmers but you can sometimes see the local kids from SWT or Texas Stae University or whatever the hell they call it now show up. Don't miss a chance to visit this kick ass dive!" (anonymous)
Shepherd
The Pirates Den Bar and Grill (piratesden.cjb.net) (from Bill)
Coalville
Bunny's - "You'll find Bunny's right next to the sewer plant..just follow your nose. Great help if the pisser's backed up, cause you can let loose at the plant. This place is dark, smells like shit, and has a patio (6'x 6'), with 10 foot high brick walls all around so you can enjoy the outdoor ambience. Look for the sign out front of a drunken mountaineer holding hands with a sloshed bunny who is two fisting drafts. Not a decent looking, acting, or proper lady in the place. No food, no games, just alcohol." (from BadAssBunny)
Bennington
Carmody's - "This is a great Irish bar with great food. The 2 best times of the year? St. Paddy's Day and Half-way to St. Paddy's Day. There is always a good chance that you will find someone danc ing on the bar. Every other day of the year is a good mix of locals and tourists." (anonymous)
Burlington
The Other Place - "A great mix of biker locals and UVM students. Warm days they open the garage door and let a little of the stink out. Great fights, sometimes with knives, and only once did a gun fall out of someone's pocket while I was there. It didn't go off. Rolling Rock is the beer of choice. Bars in Vermont have to serve food and they serve something they call a "taco," which is dogmeat in a flour tortilla nuked gently with some cheese. Delightful and just right. Wear boots if you plan on using the bathrooms." (from Blackie)
Finbars - "it's the shit" (anonymous)
Blacksburg
Big Al's - "THE BARTENDERS ARE DICKS BUT THE COLLEGE GIRLS ARE WONDERFUL. NOTHING LIKE A DRUNK 19 YEAR OLD." (anonymous)
Norfolk
D.C. Chase's - "a drunk slut hangs out there. Wait until 9PM on thursday or friday nights. she looks good and loves dick." (anonymous)
Gig Harbor
Hi Hu Hee Hee - "Many drunk lumberjacks. You have a 30% chance of getting your ass kicked. Considering Gig Harbor is the Santa Barbara of Washington, this bar is a great place to talk shit and drink." (anonymous)
Pullman
My Office - "It's great because in a town full of Fratdicks and Sorastatuits, you can go and have a good time. One that doesn't end up with you wanting to kill the person next to you, who keeps asking what house you belong to. Plus the bartenders take the time to know your name and how you like you favorite drink. Also you can usually meet people and play darts or pool without having to wait forever! I just like to go to the bar where everyone knows my name!" (from Rus)
Seattle
Five Point Café, 415 Cedar Street (206) 448-9993 (from paradive)
Common Share - "$2 for any draft beer all the time, and not just the cheap stuff, but ALL beer ANY day! Best place for drinking Guinness." (submitted by Matt)
Politki - "Three levels with cute bartenders. Quizzo on Tuesdays and $1 Bud night on Thursdays. And it's full of Capitol Hill interns. Do ya need more?" (thanks to Matt)
Madam's Organ - "hundreds of drunk interns year round !!!!" (from FRAT Blankenship)
Passport Restaurant - "This bar is so low key but also many drunken American University girls as well as local high school kids. Very fun cheap drinks lesbian bartenders. Pitchers are 8 bucks and so are the girls. Back bathroom stay hot for blazing." (anonymous)
U-Turn - "If you're looking for a thick, hearty taste of D.C.'s gay night life, drop and give me twenty. From the emo boys to leather gangs like DCMS, this strip club has more poles than Chicago. The drinks are $2 and up, and burning is optional. Rave nights on Saturdays! Ask for Mookie, the DJ. He can help with company for the evening, and makes a mean "Pearl Necklace"! Have fun!" (anonymous)
Charleston
Frank's Place - "frank is literally a one legged man who has won many an ass kicking contest. do what you want at franks so long as you clean up after yourself and frank doesn't give a shit. very good chances to find a gutter slut most nights. things start rockin' after 10 most nights 2500 block of sissonville rd. 304- 343-0824 (from Steve)
Empty Glass - "Guinness on tap, cheap cover charge (usually), an eclectic offering of live music - some of which is actually good enough to make you not mind paying the aforementioned cover charge, and a nice mix of customers including area politicos, writers, artists, pseudo and acutal hippie types and a liberal idea of what constitues socially acceptable behavior." (sent anonymously)
Dunbar
Jay's - "Just a small hole in the wall, with a bunch of drunk bastard's a patron's not to mention how big of an asshole the owner is." (anonymous)
Morgantown
Bent Willy's - "its sweeeeeeet... 3 different "atmospheres'" (sent anonymously)
Teays Valley
Dollar Bills - "this bar is great no one is a stranger and anyone who stops in comes back.
its located next to a truck stop so it has a constant flow of new faces along with the regulars.
they have happy hour everyday 4pm - 7pm long necks are $1.50 and draft is $1.00 per mug. Pool is .50 per game they have a dart board and poker machines and a big screen TV. on Sunday happy hour runs from 2pm-7pm for the NASCAR fans and on Sunday free dinner is served at 6pm, and its the home cook stuff its grilled out weather permitting. If your ever through the Huntington-Charleston area of West Virginia its well worth stopping in!" (from slyfox)Appleton
The Apple Pub - "The people here are falling down drunk by 6:00. Decent bands start at 9:00 weekends. Weeknights the drunks are entertaining and harmless. Usually." (anonymous)
La Crosse
Shooter's Bar - "THE PLACE HAS JAGERMEISTER ON TAP AND THE A GREAT DRINKERS JUKE BOX W SUCH GREAT ARTISTS AS JIMMY BUFFET,BOB DYLAN,JANES ADDICTION,STEVE MILLER,BILLY JOEL,JIMI HENDRIX,JANIS JOPLIN,HANK JR VOL1,PEARL JAM ETC.THE OWNER "RUDY" IS A LOCAL WILDMAN WHO FILMED THE RIOTS WHICH OCCURED RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE PLACE.THE FOOTAGE OF THE COP CAR BEING TURNED OVER AND BURNED IS INCREDIBLE.RUDY POURS NASTY STIFF DRINKS AND SPOUTS OFF ABOUT ALL SORTS OF CRAZY SHIT.THE JOINT IS LIKE A BEER MUSEUM WITH OLD BEER SIGNS SUCH AS 2 OF THE OLD HAMMS ROLLING WATER SIGNS." (from John Sayory, a caps-lock-challenged visitor...)
3rd Street - "What makes this grouping of bars great is they are all right next to each other. 15 great bars within 2 blocks of each other. Oh yeah and hundreds of drunk hot women." (anonymous)
Madison
CITY Bar - "This bar is awesome!!! They've got every kind of vodka you can think of and ones you havent even heard of. They have this amazing strawberry infused vodka thats is their proud specialty. If you want to have great drinks, service, and an amazing time...this is the place you definitely want to hit up!" (anonymous)
Milwaukee
The Safehouse - "While a bit of a different place, it's an awesome bar to spend some time in, set up like an old James Bond set. Just make sure to find the bathrooms ahead of time - they're tricky bastards to hunt down." (anonymous)
Wilton
Uf Da Inn - "Nobody cares who you are or where you're from. If you want to get drunk, this is the place to go." (from "A good friend!!!!!")
Wisconsin Rapids
Four Stools Short - "Lots of drunks damn near every night of the week. Sundays is "weirdo" night. You can get in a fight in a heartbeat if you like." (submitted by Curly)
Kemmerer
The Eagles Bar - "The best part about the Eagles Bar is the DJ. The beer is GREAT!!! It's not watered down (like in Utah). The atmosphere is amazing. I just love watching the drunk cowboys getting into fights. The best time to go is whenever you want!!! Because their open 24/7!!!!! :S" (anonymous)
The Mercantile Hotel, The Rocks, Darling Harbour, Sydney (from RaymondX)
Knopwoods, Hobart, Tasmania (from Carol)
Bridey O'Reilly's, Hobart, Tasmania (from Carol)
Round Midnight, Hobart, Tasmania (from Carol)
O'Sullivan's, Essendon, Victoria (from Carol)
The Lincolnshire Arms, Essendon, Victoria (from Carol)
Gin Palace, Melbourne (just off Flinders Lane) (from Carol)
Honky Tonk, Melbourne (just off Flinders Lane) (from Carol)
Icon, Melbourne (just off Flinders Lane) (from Carol)
The Hairy Canary, Melbourne (just off Flinders Lane) (from Carol)
The Benambra Hotel, Victoria (submitted by Craig W.)
The Sail and Anchor, Fremantle [they do a "wicked chili beer"] (submitted by Goobs)
The Norfolk Inn, Fremantle (submitted by Goobs)
Finbars, Melbourne - "hey, its irish...that just says it all." (submitted by hallowed be thy drunk)
The Nottinghill Hotel, Melbourne - "The Nottinghill Hotel on Ferntree Gully road known as "the Nott" is where I first got pissed. It has been operating on the same spot for well over a century. Its a true working mans pub and one of the few not to have installed those bloody awful poker machines.
I think its a drinkers paradise because there are 5 bars and large shady beer garden (complete with chooks running about) set on a sprawling property.
In summer it is a heavenly oasis and it meets the main requirement of being a great pub or bar because after one too many you begin to realize that everyone wants to be your mate as much as you want to be everybodys mate! No warm cats piss served here either." (from Chuck me guts up)Playford Tavern, aka. Kariwara Hotel, Davoren Park (aka. Elizabeth West), South Australia - "This pub is full of mean fother muckers who wouldn't hesitate to put their empty glass across the top of your scull. It has some gorgeous wenches who know how to pour a mean drink and are well known for blowing guys in the keg room. If you haven't got a cock longer than 6" then don't even try walking through the front door coz these bar wenches can spot the lump in your pants from 20 feet." (submitted by Boris the Bundy Bear)
The Seaview Hotel, Townsville, Queensland - "REASONABLE BOOZE PRICES, GOOD VIEWS, GOOD COMPANY, HOT BARMAIDS" (submitted anonymously)
The Oak Hotel, Launceston, Tasmania - "The Oak is the last pub in town that hasn't been transformed for the yuppie crowd. It's a basic country pub, (in a small city of about 70,000 people)where you can have a punch up out the front and the bar staff will come and break it up and tell you to both go back inside and have a beer, instead of the bouncers (there are none) kicking the shit out of you for sport. They have good staff, good meals and live music 3-4 days per week. The local backpackers is next door, which makes for a good perv in the summer." (from Buckers)
Cooper's Alehouse, Adelaide, South Australia - "sponsors sporting teams. constant drink specials, barmen/women give you cheek, pool and darts, chips with most meals- good meals perfect for recovering from night before there, guests don't wear potentially foot piercing stillettos" (anonymous)
Blaumuzel, Antwerp - "Its waitresses will do anything for money. Music on request. Indoor or outdoor drunkeness. Its bathroom facilities for illegal acts." (sent by Jim)
The Green, Bruges (from Adriaan)
The Relax, Bruges (from Adriaan)
De Vuurmolen (The Firemill), Bruges (from Adriaan)
Bob's Cocktailbar, Bruges (from Adriaan)
College, Corbiestraat, Mol (from Raf)
De Groens Hond Cafe, Vilvoorde - "The wigged out owner...cannabis smoking, anti-social, cyber-freak..." (anonymously)
Duck Inn, Maun, Okawango Delta - "Here you will meet the most adventurous people from all over the world. Everybody will drink and party as it would be the last day on earth..." (from Jay)
Bar de Léo, street ana carolina x sampaio vidal, São Paolo - "cold beer , caipirinha. wet girls, and Brazilian pussy girls, go there and see" (thanks to Ricardo Salles)
The Keltic Rock (formerly known as The Ol' Triangle), Brampton, Ontario - "I can recall spending many a night in this place, though under new ownership and what not, still an amazing place. It's a great bar to get together with friends, and possibly family, and pound back shots as if it was water." (anonymous)
Rose and Crown Public House and Eatery, Mitchell, Ontario - "it's one of the last of it's kind, where you can get right shitfaced and nobody gives a damn as long as you don't start a donny brook or fall asleep on your stool. It plays no hip trip fuckin' shit, and every Saturday drinks are half price beer and liquor open to close. The owner and managers buy drinks and get as pissed as the customers. All that and the capacity is only 106." (sent by Cam)
The Bridge Tavern, Windsor, Ontario - "This bar features a cast of regulars both young and old, and all are drunks. Cheap pitchers, dim lighting, low ceilings, memorabilia that is older than you are, and occasional live music keep you coming back. There are no pretensions- everyone there is trying to get wasted. Order a day old roasted hotdog and put some Allman Bros. on the juke box and have a good old time." (sent by Carling)
The Coach & Horses, Windsor, Ontario - "Walking into this bar is like wading into a pool of urine, or at least smells like it. Very dimly lit, very stinky, and very low ceilings give it an English pub feel. There's even a large fireplace for those long winter binges. Home to some of the city's loudest and crappiest bands. It's not uncommon to see folks indulging in marijuana smoking, and other vices. Affectionately know as 'The Roach & Corpses.'" (submitted by Carling)
The Loop, Windsor, Ontario - "Apparently this bar was once a furniture warehouse, and thus is not short on floorspace. In fact, it's huge, dark, dirty, and crowded. Lots of hot chicks, and plenty of scene-sters trying to be cool. But just ignore them and find yourself a couch in a dark corner to get high. Then order yourself up a drink or ten. Just be careful in the bathroom. The floor is slick with urine, and most if not all of the urinals are out of order. Though that doesn't stop folks from pissing where they used to be. If you play your cards right, it is easy to get laid in this bar." (submitted by Jay)
The Press Club, Windsor, Ontario - "This bar is what live music is all about. Every Friday and Saturday this bar features live bands from across the country. But it gets better. A friendly staff, and a somewhat artsy clientele means that you can be as drunk a bastard as you like and no one will care. Grab a seat by the huge floor to ceiling windows for an unparalleled view of the Detroit skyline, and soak up the sounds of some up and coming talent." (sent by Carling)
Gold Range/Bad Sam's Bar, Yellowknife/Northwest Territories - "The owner sits on his stool and shines his hand held light that could blind a moose to signal the waitresses and bouncers. The waitresses are often more drunk than the customers. They feature a life sized chuck wagon and live bands. There is a intriguing mixture of patrons ranging from the drunk business man to the average street person. The Indian to white ratio is 400 to 10. The drinks are over priced and the Bartenders are ALWAYS bitchy! A life sized portrait of the owners dog hangs over the bar. But despite all this it is always packed on the weekends and NEVER empty!" (submitted by A Faithful Gold Ranger)
Montana, Johns St., Toronto - "Cool, relaxed, fall over in your own time" (anonymous)
The Queen's Legs, Toronto - "- An english pub owned by greeks. - You could drink in your pajamas there and no one gives a rats ass." (anonymous)
J.B.'s, Toronto - "This was my father's favourite bar..he spent days in there on a bar stool, and later he wheeled in his oxygen cart cause the bar was as far as he could travel. The Barmaid/owner Anna was at his funeral and sobbed louder than any of us." (anonymous)
Roy Bar, Montreal - "this place is a classic punk dive. there's no food - who the fuck needs food when they're drinking anyways?!! there're no windows. you can bring your dog, sit back, drink, and yell over the music if you *must* talk. the bargirls are young hotties." (anonymous)
Miami, Montreal - "Dirty, loud, and people only look at you funny if you're dressed up too nice. There's a back patio - and they don't have bar food BUT once I was there and a magical burrito guy just showed up with a basket of burritos." (anonymous)
Lee's Palace / Dance Cave, Toronto - "Despite the stupid name, the Cave is likely the crappiest place to drink a beer. It's dark enough to not know if your shoelace is untied, which is good cause i have been there when they turn on the lights (which is worth seeing if you want to see the most incredible spider web/dust displays of shit hangin from the ceiling... ever). Mostly younger crowd, but no one gives a shit." (anonymous)
The Rock House, Newmarket, Ontario - "Thursday is wild drunk bastard night. Great HOT SERVICE!!!! Home of the world's most dangerous bartender!!!!" (submitted by "world's most dangerous bartender")
The Westview Tavern, Pelee Island, Ontario - "This bar's main claim to fame is that it's the most southern bar in Canada; Pelee Island being located in the middle of Lake Erie. It's a restaurant/bar and the menu features such oddities as deep fried pickles. It's got tons of character, from the giant gold-painted bust of Elvis to the swarthy-mexican-migrant-fruit-picker patrons. They also feature bands in the summer months and anything can happen; onstage fights and wholesale destruction of equipment being not uncommon." (from Carling)
The Liquor Dome, Halifax, Nova Scotia - "7 Seperate bars under one roof. Open till 3:30 Am Wed thru Sun. More shitfaced university chicks than you can possibly imagine. Be careful, the bouncers don't put up with shit. $2.50 Drinks till midnight. No kitchen but they have one of the best pizza slices in Halifax. A must visit." (anonymous)
The Max, Kamloops - "Though they changed buck a beer night to two bucks a beer night this bar is great, scuzzy as hell, busy only one night a week, no ID only a mild problem twenty bucks can fix. " (anonymous)
Kilt & Clover, St. Catherine's, Ontario - "This awesome little pub never closes. Open 365 days a year and ready to party every damn day! Good food, great beer, free-pour liquour and hot staff all wearing kilts. If you're not a professional drunk you're still welcome at the Kilt and Clover, we supply on-the-job training. And DO NOT try the suicide wing challenge!" (anonymous)
Martin's, Cali - "What a great time! cheap booze! Horny Colombian girls..." (from A.V.)
Desparado, Prague - "Bar tenders take the time to learn your favorite drink even though they speak broken English. Beer is 23 cents American per half liter (cheaper than any other bar we found) and if you kick a random Czech guy's ass in the bar, the owners say nothing, even when the police come from the station across the street. All in all a good place to be if you like to get drunk and start fights due to small things like language barriers." (from Brad)
Den Standhaftige Tinsoldat (The Steadfast Tin Soldier), Odense, Fyn - "its a place that opens when the the other clubs and bars close at around 5am. there are prostitutes, big thuggish guys and you can get a plate of stew or bacon and eggs and flush it down with strong beer... It is never boring to be there!!!" (from Peter Pagh)
The Lord Clyde, Bradford - www.lordclyde.net (submitted by Mick)
Harry Smiths Bar, St. Albans, Herefordshire - "This bar is full of drunken bums, morning noon and night.. the evil day star was at one point allowed to enter, but that was remedied by the owner a few months ago, and now no light permutates at all. The bar is generally unclean all of the time, and if you manage to keep the food in your stomach for more than 2 Hrs you get a free dish of the day!!!" (submitted by Paul Janson)
Trader Vic's, London - "the waitress are the best in the world" (anonymous submission)
The Empress, Bradford, West Yorkshire - "It's a metal bar where swearing and drinking are not only approved of, they're encouraged. Whatever your poison (lager to beer to kick-ass cocktails) they've got it and they'll serve it to you until you can't stand ANYMORE!!" (from Rick)
The Castle, London - "A great dive bar in a really swank area.The local poshos would burn if place to the ground if they could. BUT THEY CAN'T. Aha ahahhhah hahaha HAHAHA shouty Irish people, 2 very short men who are mortal enemies and always fight. And a waitress nicknamed 'Jenny Jugs' on account of her fabulous assets. Who could ask for more?" (from Jenny Jugs)
The Lord Burleigh, London - "Full of friendly, musical, drunk Scots" (anonymous)
The Imperial, Weston, North Somerset - "It follows all the requirements of a great drunken bastard joint, plus the live music is un-surpassed. It has the best Jam-Night in the U.K. which particualrily stands out for the regular appearance of Cliff Moore, virtuoso brother of the legendary Gary Moore (Thin Lizzy etc.). Nuff said..." (from hybrid-dreams.co.uk)
Post House, Cumberland St., Liverpool - "old style back street boozer best pint of bitter in town full of old drunks. it was going to be pulled down for yuppie flats but the resident drunks protested and now its a listed building. £1.50 a treble. for forigners thats cheap £2.50 a single in most places. mike and brenda (owners) are so freindly. they do free food on a saturday afternoon so you dont interupt the drinkingining" (from MPH)
O'Connell's, Peterborough - "A really cool place to go. Mainly for young people. Has a wide selection of people. From Townies to Alternatives. Everyone's really friendly and with selected drinks being £1.29 on Sundays, Mondays and Tuesday or £1.50 2 - 8pm on other days, it's well worth a visit!" (from Lovehate5)
Monty's, Harrogate, West Yorkshire - "Cocktail bar with 2 for price of 1 until 9pm. The only people who I have seen leave here sober are Mormans. We got the barman to put absynthe and tequila mixed with 3 other spirits into shots - finished a few people off with that one. We were sat outside waiting for them to open so they opened about 30 mins early and best of all, you can take the piss out of the bouncers and they won't kill you." ((from Phileh)
Hebedas, Dresden - "you'll never be kicked out if you are drunk!" (anonymous)
The Leprechaun, Regensburg (from Jamie)
The Shamrock, Munich (from Jamie)
Thomas Reed Irish Pub, Reeperbahn, Hamburg (from Felix)
Hansen Brauerei, Flensburg (from Felix)
Shamrock Irish Bar, Hamburg - "over 20 years of drunken debauchery. No flash kitchen. Be lucky to get a bag f crisps. Great pints though. No Yuppies. Lots of St Pauli Football fans." (by Dicky)
Moortgat, Arnhem - "Grand collection of good beers with some bluesy tunes in the background. They'll buy any beer you like if you keep whining long enough! The great thing about this bar is that you never ecall leaving it." (from Zwoep)
9 Bar, Goa - "Hordes of people focusing ONLY on getting drunk and figuring out where the raves are going on tonight. Supplement your alcohol intake with chronic if you like - no one gives a shit." (from a tourist who will never forget it)
D's Place, Jakarta - "Open from 11am to 3.30am. Excellent service and great atmosphere, no doubt due to the high number of friendly local girls who swarm there every night." (sent anonymously)
IRELAND
Houlihan's (aka Richie's), Tralee, County Kerry - "It@s full of alcholics who gather outside about an hour befor opening, which is about three hours before the legal opening hours, there at least one fight a week, you don't have to go outside to smoke, most of the staff were hired because they are alch's and live in the bar anyway and i get a lot of free drinks/food/song's on the jukebox etc." (from a local ocal)
Matilda's, Sorrento - "Huge. Built on the face of the cliff right in the centre of Sorrento. About five stories, each effectively a different bar with different look and feel and music." (anonymous)
Backgammon, Kyoto (from someone I forgot)
Golden Horn, Alma Ati - "The only place in Eurasia to really get bladdered; not many girls, but hey, we can deal with that; the attractions are: Home brewed beer, Arak (fermented mare's milk), drunk Mongols, drunk Russians, drunk me, black bread, and just round the corner from The Admiral Nelson where the Funk/Soul music keeps one going until it's time to just drink and fall into a coma" (from Recklesswraith)
Manas, Bishkek (off the Ala-Too Square) - "It never closes, there's always at least ten drunks in it (mainly of Russian descent) and no-one talks to you. It costs $10 to remain shit-faced for days, and when you're too smashed to drink any more, you get spoon-fed mutton stew by the waiter until you're sober enough (or vomit enough) to start drinking whatever it is they put in recycled JD bottles and pretend is drinkable." (from Recklesswraith)
Cabo Wabo, Cabo San Lucas (from wasted)
Cocomo's, Cabo San Lucas (from wasted) (reportedly many young girls frequent the place... my kind o' bar)
The Giggling Marlin (the home of Tequila Jackson), Cabo San Lucas (from wasted)
El Squid Roe, Cabo San Lucas (from wasted)
Slim's - World's Smallest Bar, Cabo San Lucas - "There are only 3 stools inside and 3 outside and I have seen at least 25 people hanging out in and around it, some with clothes on and some without. Hilarious." (from The Blue Marlin)
The International, Los Cabos - "The girls" (from charles)
La Barriga, Puerta Vallarta - "Dollar (ten peso) beers, free pool (one table) $1.50 drinks, and where all the locals/expats go to get bombed and find whatever they may need or want. One of the best dive bars I've been to anywhere." (from El Snod)
Victors Tacuba, Puerta Vallarta - "Located virtually on the Marina in Puerto Vallarta, 25 feet from the water. Every beer is a dollar (ten pesos) and every dollar beer comes with a free shot of tequila….ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, 365 DAYS A YEAR! Some of the best Mexican seafood (mariscos) you’ll ever find. Ceviche`, Fish/shrimp/lobster tacos, Marlin chalupas, plus all your reagular Mexican fare (burritos, enchiladas, taco, carne asada) for DIRT cheap prices. Nothing costs more than two bucks. You can be loud, drunk and crazy and they just don’t care." (from El Snod)
The Fitz, Palmerston North, Manawatu - "You can buy a dozen 745ml bottles of beer at a time no dancing allowed but hot young chicks still hang out there and you can get real drunk and they don't kick you out" (from The Grot)
Provedor, Auckland - "Its open till sunrise, its on the waterfront, plays the cheesiest music and with a nick-name like " Provide-A-Whore " it cant be bad!" (from Chris)
Finnegan's Irish Pub, Bergen, Hordaland - "Crappy place and all the bartenders are complete bastards. Gotta love it!" (from André Granli)
Mustang Sally's, Port Moresby, Central Province - "One of two bars at The Shady Rest aka The Saggy Breast. Right down the road (from me), great prices, relaxed atmosphere. The only bar worth drinking/getting drunk at in Pt Moresby without the hassles of a strict dress codes or worrying about getting mugged/raped (Moresby is not the safest city). (sent in by Justin)
Gallery, Buszow (submitted by Patryk)
Przystan Bar, Sopot - "Great food. Great views. Polish women are blondes with great figures. And that's before the vodka. In Poland, there are two sizes of beer. A man's size and a women's size. It's assumed all men want the half liter. If a man requests the smaller size, it's assumed he's not a man. " (from Matt)
Plains, Zgierz - "There we can drink beer, tinctures, cider, and many tougher washes" (anonymous)
Music Pub, Cluj - "Cheap beer, good music, great casual drinking partners." (anonymous submission)
Hungry Duck, Moscow - "good beer and more available broads than you can shake a shitty stick at" (from George M.)
Bells, Moscow / Polyanka - "best looking and cheapest whores in Moscow, good food, some expats but mostly Russians, EXCELLENT!" (from George M.) (also submitted by an anonymous source)
The Handle Bar - "A real biker bar that exists in Singapore. No assholes, just laid back locals and expats enjoying great tropical breezes, burnt chicken and cold beer. Perfect place to kick back and enjoy" (from Peter Froitzheim)
Head Bang Bang, Daegu - "you can get shitfaced, fall down the steps, pull up your shirt show everyone your belly button lint,and no one thinks you're strange...if you want your drink with more jack daniel's, it's the same price...lots of korean and foriegn chicks, and the dickheads usually don't start fights (usually)" (from rodaroo)
Polly's Kettle House, Itaiwon district, Seoul - "Best soju kettle's in Korea and you can bearly move around inside and outside the place on Friday and Saturday nights from about 10 PM until around 2 AM because of all the military personnel that go there! If you go to Seoul, you have to visit Polly's!"
Charly, Madrid - "Absurd decoration (christmassy all the year). Amazing barman, usually drunker than the public, groans and moans and throws incoherent speeches. Bravo, charly!, "quetaspés, coleguita!!!"" (from a Charly's devil)
Taskopolis, Madrid - "Incredible mojitos, 2 for 5 euros, laid back atmosphere, punk music, and a Mexican wrestler cartoon on the wall. Located near the metro stop Tribunal on Calle San Mateo." (from Brian Schroeder)
California Bar, Rota - "Where else can you get served by Norwegian babes, while hitting on beautiful, non-pimpled, olive skined Spanish girls that wear too tight clothes! Oh, yeah...they've got good bear too! (submitted by G-Down)
O'Grady's Irish Bar, Rota - "o'grady's irish bar kicked ass because, where else could you order a shot of wild turkey and a trash can to puke in afterwards. Plus the owner/bartender Patrick O'grady kept me fucked up for my entire three year stay in sunny Rota very cheapily." (from gwoolley)
Enso's Bar & Steakhouse, Visby, Gotland - "Loads of hot and fat food. The Enso Hamburger would feed a medium sized African country. Fairly cheap to be in Sweden. A devastating Blood shot and only rock'n'roll. Beers, wine and Gin tonic in pichers. Best Meat in Eurpoe" (anonymous)
7/11 Bar, Bangkok - "Coz drunks, jerks, whores, wankers `n loosers come there to drink cheap and bad alcohol." (sent by OBLEDUT) UPDATE: The "7/11 bar" is no more! They have closed down the 7/11 store, but the "bar" is still going. Just ask for Sukhumvit soi 13. Name of the "bar" is just "soi 13" most drunk bastards, jerks, wankers and whores will know. The Dubliner is a shithole! Why go to Thailand if you want a Irish place!??! And there is another kind of wankers and jerks hanging there *tossers*
The Dubliner, 440 Sukhumvit Road, Bangkok - "Load's of hot chicks all looking for one thing !!! - Huge FREE shooter Nights - Best Burgers this side of Belfast - This is a real Irish Bar not some tourist crap - No one goes home sober" (anonymous)
The Full Moon, Neath, West Glamorgan - "Everyone there loves to get off their chops. They get so bad, and I mean so fucking bad, JUB, pills, cocaine, speed. Minimum drink is atleast 7 shots of spirits in each glass otherwise you get a kickin. Easy-going pub apart from one rule - you can't leave untill you lose atleast 3 of your bodily functions. Now go there and just get off your fucking twat.....NOWWWWWWWWW." (from Mr. Ivanna Gebad)
These are places that present themselves as local joints, but suck hairy beanbags.
(A note to anyone associated with any of the following establishments whose feelings are hurt because their suckass factor has been mentioned here: I don't care. Either someone else nominated you, which meant that you were probably an asshole to them, or I nominated you, in which case you fucking deserve it.)
UNITED STATES
ALABAMA
Brother's Bar, Jacksonville - "Can't smoke and no liquor. Underage skanks dancing with (and on top of) overage skeezballs. Shitty bands on the weekends and mediocre DJ on Ladies Night. No one should have to pay to go here."
ARIZONA
Rula Bula Irish Pub, Tempe - The owner is a closet Nazi with the personality of a monkfish, drinks are way too expensive and short-poured to boot, and the place is way too full of itself. Too bad, it COULD be a great DB bar.
The Coast, Scottsdale - The owner's a dipshit. On a Friday night, you could very well be the only person there. I believe that those two statements are somehow related. Changed its name to "Gary's Old Town Tavern" in March 2002. (Update: The Coast has since closed. No one was surprised.)
Maloney's (any of them) Scottsdale, Tempe, Tucson, Flagstaff, and in California - Music so loud a conversation is right out, stupid movie crap, and the only thing Irish about the place is that the sign is green.
The Back Nine Grill, Phoenix - Jiggers. Did you read the "Qualifications" page? They use jiggers. Oh, and the owners are two old fuckers.
Hackers Bar and Grille, Scottsdale - Let me see, an "upscale" neighborhood golf bar with half-spoiled food. A bunch of grumpy old golfers talking about golf. And two useless owners. Better off getting a bottle of Night Train and sitting on the curb.
CALIFORNIA
The Foxfire, Anaheim Hills - "$8 cover. Strict dress code, Food=seared ahi or ostrich or lamb for 30 bucks, liquor that goes up to $135 per shot for some kind of cognac, no pitchers-in fact no draft beer, entertainment is cover bands playing all of the outkast-pdiddy shit that's on the charts, 4 blenders for the bartenders to work with, NO drink specials past happy hour, $5.75 well drinks, no bartender will EVER "buy" you a drink... even if a waitress knocks it out of your hand with her tray, Four count? try three-count, Beer is NEVER served in glasses-you get a bottle, they'll give you a glass if you need one..... this is in addition to the freak show whorehouse side..... but hey, maybe it's your kind of place!" (anonymous)... "Started out as a fantastic singles bar in a nice neighborhood. Rich, affluent people from the neighborhood single for the first time in 20 years... ripe for the pickin'. Well, word has gotten out, and now it attracts every toothless hillbilly for 20 miles... AND the transsexuals who are there to prey on the young folks who are there to prey on the rich old ladies..... Try it if you like, but bring plenty of Penicillin!" (could be the same person... maybe not... either way, I put it up)
COLORADO
Group Therapy, Longmont - "Low nicotine stained ceiling and sticky tables and chairs...many beer stained pool tables, half don't have all the balls and a third don't work. Most the drunk bastards are like statues with only one moving arm to drink and smoke. Definately search your dirty laundry to wear to go here. Nasty, nasty, and dirty!" (anonymous)
FLORIDA
Traders, New Smyrna Beach - "It's dark, full of smoke, and has some of the biggest wastes of life in Florida in it. Makes a recipe for disaster!" (from S.L.)
INDIANA
Cheers, Munster - "Snob appeal. If you're not their type, they'll let you know. Expensive, with plenty of ass-kissing patrons, who suck up to the owner. If you're not in the preppy, polo-shirt crowd, forget about it. " (from Last Pollack Staggering)
IOWA
Hound Dog, Monmouth - "Locals are all related and hate you for not being their sexy, drunk aunt. Bartender is a blond beehive hussy. Yes, she loves Elvis and all the other male animals. "
KANSAS
Port of Wichita, Wichita - "Very bad food, I ate there and could have shit through a screen door at 100 yards. Nasty cum dumpsters serving water-downed drinks and food." (from "shitting like a junkyard dog")
MASSACHUSETTS
Cheers, 84 Beacon Street, Boston - Was called the Bull & Finch before the show started (if my alcohol-dilapidated memory serves) and had since milked the concept to the point of extinction. I heard years ago that it was a waste of time BEFORE they adopted the "Cheers" theme, and have heard nothing since then to prove otherwise. You're better off going to any of the three million bars in Boston (including the ones listed above) not named after a TV show.
Abbey Road, Lowell - "Commonly known as "scabbey Road"... Need I say more????" (anonymous)
Tavern at the Bridge, Lowell - "Dirty Dirty Dirty....need I say more?" (anonymous)
J.J. Boomers, Lowell - "Unless: you can speak "Ebonics", your ride is "pimped out" &/or your rims cost more than your car...Don't even waste your time going there. This place used to be a good place to go with good music and dancing, good looking bartenders and at the end of it all your vehicle would still be in the parking lot. (until the invasion)" (from SHE DEVIL)
The Ugly Bar, Tyngsboro - "WHEN YOU LEAVE THE BAR YOU FEEL LIKE THE BEST LOOKING GUY IN THE WORLD. YOU ALSO APPRECIATE YOUR DENTIST MORE FOR LEAVING AT LEAST A FEW TEETH IN YOUR HEAD" (anonymous)
MICHIGAN
Kale's Corner Bar and Zoo, Grand Rapids - "because its full of drunk bastards.its so dark you think everyone is drinking jack and cokes.hookers are free,and they all weigh over 200 lbs cuz michigan is full of fattys.i have also heard that my father used to go there if you see him ask him if he will ever come back from the store with my bubble tape." (from Nate)
Augie's, Madison Heights - "If you want to pick up trashy women, meet cheap men, but get served a drink by a cool bartender, go there. The live bands on the weekends aren't too bad either." (anonymous)
MISSISSIPPI
Fisherman's Harbor, Biloxi - "The Bartender's are bad to the bone..." (from D.K.C.)
MONTANA
Rock's Western Bar, Helena - "Let's just say the cattle have better hides then the women at this joint. But if you want to get lucky with a 60 year old women then this is your kind a place. Besides the local talent, its got a decent jukebox and a shuffleboard table. If you're in the mood for some really good food go somewhere else, but if you want some cheap beer then just come here ... Rock's Western." (from Digger)
NEVADA
Goldfingers, Las Vegas - "Try's to do a "James Bond" theme and fails big time. The bar tenders are old fat trailer trash blondes that have no interest in serving drinks. Instead, they always have a small group of their friends at the bar and they spend their time chatting rather than serving. No comp on drinks when gambling on their fixed video slots. Generally, nothing but a really bad, cheap ass time. Bond would blow this joint up within 5 minutes if he walked in. Shameful." (anonymous)
NEW MEXICO
Mescalero Tribal Bar, Mescalero - "Too Many fucked up suicidal Indians begging for MONEY!!!" (anonymous)
OREGON
Blue Moon, Coos Bay - "every lifestyle and every type of drunk. Western to Suburbia wood be bikers to bikers stripers to hotel managers to doctors to even politicians. Absolute cross of humanity in the middle of lost ideas and living history of how to fail in life. de pe" (from Darrell Smith)
TENNESSEE
New Beginnings, Johnson City - "Gay bar with one "straight night". As if the fags won't be there checking out the straight guys." (from Mike)
TEXAS
Poop Deck, Galveston - "trashy, shitty, biker scumbags where shit always starts when they get drunk" (from W. Shmeg)
Anchor Club, Hilton On The Lake, Onalaska - "overrun by too many oldass retired hillbillies who can be very depressing to drink around. we all have our own reasons/needs to get fucked, & when its time to do so ,atmosphere is crucial to the results.my favorite texas bar was MILLINIUM @ 1960 & aldine westfeild HOUSTON TX ,but sadly it closed a few yrs back" (anonymous submission)
WYOMING
C.B. & Potts/Big Horn Brewery, Cheyenne (and other locations) - "The G.M. fucked the owner's son to get her job, and the head doorman shaves his head and wears white contacts. Enough said." (from cmill)
AUSTRALIA
East End Exchange, Adelaide, South Australia - "This pub would be cool if i liked hanging out with 15 year olds that have quite reached puberty who use the toilet facilities solely to regurgitate what ever 15 year olds eat these days mixed with a rasberry vodka or two. But because i prefere to drink with people who i can legally drink with (and pick up). Whats definately not cool is fact that the chick bartenders who haven't quite developed breasts yet do not serve other chicks unless they are their 'friends' that they proceed to chat to for an hour ingoring other thirsty occupants that can hold down more that 2 beers and do not get picked up by their mothers at the end of the night. However, if you are a dirty cradle snatcher who likes listening to boy bands and britney, who doesn't mind being covered in chick drinks as they fall over themselvs after drinking 2 too many (equalling 3) premixed beverages then i recommend this pub. just a warning to those dirty craddle snatches- this may sound like the place of your dreams, however don't forget that at 12.30 these women must meet curfew or mummy and daddy will be in their driving their mercs with the back seat precovered with plastic" (anonymous)
CANADA
Chateau Lafayette, Ottawa - "- Canadian beer is served, mainly in 22oz bottles
- old guys that sound like The Penguin (the real, Burgess Meredith Penguin) get shitfaced and scream at each other
- the genuine porcelain urinals are the size of bathtubs on end (you cannot miss) & filled with ice
- sawdust (need I say more)" (anonymous)Esplanade Bier Market, Toronto - "I noticed an "anonymous" reader submitted this bar as a good drunk bastard bar. Not possible. I'm afraid the bar lies dangerously close to lawyer land on Bay Street, and is consequently teeming with well-groomed Lexus owners. Sure the beer is good, if you don't mind paying $7 a pint. (An average pint in Toronto is $4 - 6.) You're also surrounded by immaculate woodwork, brass and potentially marble, I can't remember. I did not stay there long." (from carl) ... "This should be a Bad Drunk Bastard Bar. Only loser stock-brokers who need to get drunk to hit on their over-weight secretaries need go here. Please remove from Great Bars immediately." (anonymous) The public speaks and I listen - it's been removed.
Marlow, Toronto - "This place is one of the hoity, toity bars you hate so much. It's fine if you like frozen, fruit-inspired martinis. Fag." (anonymous)
Michael's Restaurant, Toronto - "It's full of a bunch of fucking drunken natives and crazy whores and crackheads and everything terrible toronto has to offer" (from hydrah)
ENGLAND
The Pineapple, Leicester - "Its a Gay bar full of white vest wearing ponces with short haircuts and tight leather pants. It`s in the middle of Leicester town and therefore way to close to all the Islamic Fundamentalists which seem to infest the city now.....two reasons then really why this shite hole should be avoided AT ALL COSTS" (from sane-scotty)
Missing, Birmingham City Centre - "ITS GREAT BECAUSE ALTHOUGH I DONT LIKE LEICESTER, YOU CAN GET BUMMED IN BRUM EASILY. IF YOU GO TO THE BOGS, TAKE JONNIES WITH YOU - YOU'LL GET RAGGED UP THE ARSE IN NO TIME!! FELLAS - LOOK OUT FOR ME IM THE GUY THAT WEARS CHINO'S AND LEATHER TIES WITH NO SHIRT. HOPE TO SEE MANY MORE FELLAS IN MISSIN - KEEP THE DRUNK AND THE LESBOS OUT. I LIVE IN PENKULL, STOKE AND MY NAMES 'BIG ALEX'" (from Alex S.)
The Crown, Hull, East Yorkshire - "went from the best to the worst in 3 short years. Now full of pot smoking, spotty faced underage shitheads,who all start fighting after a sniff of ale..wankers.Avoid at all costs." (from Diddy)
KOSOVO
Kukris International Pub, Pristina - "A lousy bar filled with too many international cops." (submitted anonymously)
SWEDEN
Dancing Dingo, Stockholm - "Uptight management who cant take a joke. Female patrons who scream sexual harassment at any sign of light hearted touch, even a light tap on the shoulder. Many bad reviews from people on the net. Serious management problems." (anonymous)
