THE PHAT PHUCK COLLECTION

Be phat, be a phuck, and be proud!  Several different styles to choose from.

There's a dog shirt that says it too.  That, to me, is funny.

DESIGNATED DRUNK
I'm not taking one for the team, I AM the team.

Because without designated drunks, the designated driver's job is rather dull.

"No, No, You're Right... Fuck ME."
(That's the front and the back)

Because sometimes, the girl whose ass you just grabbed is right.

Jesus Died For Me
(What a Waste)

He died for a bitter drunk bastard like me?  Bet he's kickin' himself in the ass for THAT one.

Jesus Is Coming
(But He Pulls Out)

Another in our "Offend The Religious" series.

If You Can Read This, Please Put Me Back In My Barstool

C'mon, help out a brotha.

Bibere Ergo Sum
(I Drink, Therefore I Am)

I think Descartes made it "Cogito" later because his wife got all pissy.  That's what I heard, anyway.

DRUNK MAN WALKING

One of our all-time best-sellers.

I DO DRUNK CHICKS

Darlin', the more you drink, the better I look.  Just remember that.

NOT ONLY DO I BRING NOTHING TO THE TABLE, BUT IT'S A MESS WHEN I LEAVE

Definitely for the Type Z personality.

I DO STUPID SHIT FOR PUSSY

Because really, don't we all?  Guys?  Join with me on this...

HEY GIRLS, IT MAY BE SHORT BUT IT'S SKINNY

Because if a guy says he's hung like a gerbil, he must really be... not.  Pique their curiosity.

"An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do." --Dylan Thomas

And someone I DO like, I call "my drinking buddy."

"A woman drove me to drink, and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."  -- W.C. Fields

Maybe I should give the ex-wife a call.