Many times I have heard someone say, "That's gay," or asked, "Is it gay to...?" As a public service to all my readers, I have come up with this page to help you sort out life's little quirks and find out once and for if, in fact, that thing you did WAS gay.
I have officially closed the submissions for any more "Is That Gay?" questions. To be honest, I think you guys are reaching at this point. To be honest, if you can't find your answer somewhere in the 550 or so questions that I have answered, I just don't know what to tell ya.
(Disclaimer: in no way is it to be inferred or implied that I am discriminating against homosexuals in any way, shape, or form. It's all a joke. Get over yourselves.)
Any spelling errors in the questions are solely the responsibility of the sender of the question. I simply cut and paste. Yeah, I could edit the syntax, spelling, and punctuation flaws, but I feel that would detract from the full effect of the original question.
CLICK HERE
Over 500 More Questions that just HAD to be answered!
"Is That Gay?" Question Index
The Most Recent Questions
(you can click on the question to go directly to it)
Q. Is it gay for a guy with a skin problem to use a tanning bed on the advice of a doctor? Is it gay that he has to FUCKING JUSTIFY it to every FUCKER WHO CAN'T KEEP THEIR FUCKING NOSES OUT? Assholes.
Q. At my bachelor party two attractive female entertainers had me lay on the floor. One set a large double-headed didlo in my mouth, and the two women fucked each other from both ends, just inches from me. Was it gay?
Q. I have a coworker that shaves HIS arm pits as well as his back and goes to the tanning bed! Would say that he is gay?
Q. My mate and I were in a local night spot and he saw a guy wearing red leather pants and commented how cool they looked. Was that a gay thing to say?
Q. I'm 47 and my daughter convinced me to set up a MySpace account. I've populated it with smart-ass comments, very mild profanity, and photos of girls and my home defense weapons--but still I wonder, was it gay of me to capitluate?
Q. I was told that U.S. Marine recruits are required to name their combat rifles. I'm not a marine recruit, but nevertheless, based on that knowledge, I decided to name all of my (lethal) home-defense weapons? Is that gay?
Q. Is it gay to illegally download a George Michael song??
Q. Is it gay if you "notice" a nice pair of legs.......then realize the belong to a guy that shaves.
Q. Is it gay for a guy to wear slacks on the golf course? His reason is that the PGA requires longpants that aren't jeans, and a polo shirt. Is it gay?
Q. Is a guy gay if he scopes out how big other guys are hung in the gym?
Q. I was at my regular watering hole last night and the bartender had the TV tuned to a No Holds Barred fighting match. I enjoyed watching the beginning of the match where they beat the hell out of each other but a few things bothered me:
- The stare down before the fighting began. They were literally nose-to-nose and looked like they might kiss. Was that gay?
- The crotch-lock near the end of the match where. They were both too exhausted to fight so one guy was trying to break the other guy's ankle by twisting it (clearly a manly attempt--but hey it was a crotch-lock. Was that gay?
- When it was all over and the winner was declared they hugged each other. Come on; that has to be gay--doesn't it?
Q. I have a question: do you think that just because you say this site is "all a joke," that it doesn't propogate the hatred toward gays? If you're going to put up a disclaimer saying you're not necessarily discriminating against homosexuals, you could at lease make it a little bigger than size 7 or 8 font. And by the way, most of your answers to visitors' questions are wrong.
Q. Why are sports trainers men? Are these dudes gay? They rub guys down, check their groins, etc. Is this a manly, or gay profession?
Q. Is speed walking gay? If it is, where's the cut-off between real sports, and the gay sports? Q. I was by myself channel surfing on Saturday and I paused on The Learning Channel because this really hot brunette was running her hands up and down this semi-hot, mousey bonde girl. The hot brunette kept telling the semi-hot blonde mousey girl how good she looked, which was also kind of hot. It turned out to be the tail end of "What Not to Wear", which I happen to know because my wife and daughter like to watch this show. Anyway, it was like this train wreck that I couldn't stop watching until the end where the semi-hot blonde mousey girl wanted to show off her new look. Was that gay?
Q. if youre fucking a whore and she trys to stick a finger in your ass and shes a really hot whore and so you let her stick it in just to the first joint....am i GAY????
Q. When in Amsterdam, is it gay to have no interest in checking out the Red Light District? I'm talking about not going there to get a piece of ass, but just to see what it's about.
Q. Are male-only Turkish baths gay?
Q. Is it gay to feign excitement over shit my wife is really excited about to get her off my fucking back? " Gee, I can't wait to go to dinner with your sister and her husband, and hear about their trip to the Low Countries. " Gay or not?
Q. Is Starbucks gay?
Q. When I watch porn I don't avert my eyes during the money shot. Is that gay?
Q. Sometimes I get aroused after I fire my Glock a couple of times. Is that gay?
Q. I've always said that only teenage girls, air-headed women and gay guys giggle. Do I have to reconsider after your April 20 post on What a Fuckin' Week I'm Having!? If you say giggling is OK I guess I'll have to change my outlook since you're the all-knowning, all-seeing expert on all that is gay.
Q. There's me and this bloke i work with, there is only us two in the build and he keeps telling me he's got a touch on, is he a raving man fucker?
Q. Is it Gay if your mate wears a tight pink t-shirt with rip effect material, who's female friend picked it out for him?
Q. Is being a wus the same as saying someone is gay For example, if a guy is nervous when driving on the Mackinack Strait Bridge, and someoe calls him a wus, could the term gay also be used?
Q. Is it gay to use silverware to eat pizza?
Q. If I guy uses the word " cute " is he pretty much announcing to anyone listening that he's gay?
Q. Is it gay to play online RPG games?
Q. With the use of women being only to scrwe (I can do my own laundry)Do you think that sciences ability to give men a pussy with ther dick the answer to our prayers or just super gay?
Q. How many family pictures should a guy have in his house? If a guy has several male siblings, is it gay to have more than one individual picture of each on display?
Q. If a guy crosses his legs like a chick, is he certifiably gay? What if he's European, where the practice is much more common?
Q. Is it gay to compromise your politics to get laid? For example, a guy is a hawk concerning the war, but decides to go to an anti-war rally because he knows some attractive women ( one in particular ) are going to protest because they are really into that cause.
Q. Is it gay to be in a barbershop quartet? Would it be gay if they practiced singing in a car?
Q. Is it gay to say, "He is a homosexual" when you could say, "Hey that guy is a FAG!"
Q. I think men's magazines are gay. Yea, shit like Maxim, etc. They advertise products that guys really don't need, like body wash, they have articles about shit like fashion for guys, and while the pictures are cool, pictures of hot chicks are a dime-a-dozen. And finally, the women are nude, which appeals to girlfriends and wives, who buy the subscription for their boyfriend or husband. It smacks of gay to me.
Q. What's the slowest a guy can channel surf and still be considered a man?
Q. Is it gay for a guy who's like 36 years old to still " celebrate " every cheap feel he gets. He's in a bar, and says, " Dude, did you see me get a nice handful of ass on that chick as I squeezed past her on my way to the bar!! " Is that gay, or something else?
Q. Is it gay to be afraid of bugs? I don't mean scorpions or tarantulas, just regular bees and flies and gnats and shit like that.
Q. Is it gay for a guy to like the smell of scented candles? Can he like it, as long as he doesn't purchase them?
Q. Is it gay to do an incredibly authentic imitation of someone who is flaming gay?
Q. Is it gay to know the biographies of male porn stars?
Q. Is it gay to quote Shakespere?
Q. Is it gay to follow David Beckham and his wife through the media? In other words, if you care, is it gay?
Q. Is it gay to check out Mellisa Joan Hart in Sabrina the Teenage Witch reruns?
Q. Are Rattlesnakes (the drink ) Gay?
Q. I was waiting at the doctor's office, and I read US Weekly, or something like that. It's similiar to People Magazine. A friend said it was gay for me to read that magazine. I said it would be gay if I purchased it, but it's okay to read in a waiting room. Who's right?
Q. If I fuck a lesbian, was it gay on her part?
Q. Is it gay for a guy with a skin problem to use a tanning bed on the advice of a doctor? Is it gay that he has to FUCKING JUSTIFY it to every FUCKER WHO CAN'T KEEP THEIR FUCKING NOSES OUT? Assholes.
A. Someone's a little tanned butthole's all puckered up over that one, huh?
Q. At my bachelor party two attractive female entertainers had me lay on the floor. One set a large double-headed didlo in my mouth, and the two women fucked each other from both ends, just inches from me. Was it gay?
A. Nope. Unless it had been up a guy's ass before.
Q. I have a coworker that shaves HIS arm pits as well as his back and goes to the tanning bed! Would say that he is gay?
A. Yes.
Q. My mate and I were in a local night spot and he saw a guy wearing red leather pants and commented how cool they looked. Was that a gay thing to say?
A. Yes. Leather pants are gay.
Q. I'm 47 and my daughter convinced me to set up a MySpace account. I've populated it with smart-ass comments, very mild profanity, and photos of girls and my home defense weapons--but still I wonder, was it gay of me to capitluate?
A. You have a reprieve based on the fact that (a) it was to shut your daughter up and (b) it has chicks and guns. Care about your Myspace account, though, and you're a little queer.
Q. I was told that U.S. Marine recruits are required to name their combat rifles. I'm not a marine recruit, but nevertheless, based on that knowledge, I decided to name all of my (lethal) home-defense weapons? Is that gay?
A. Only if you name them with girl names. And try cleaning them with your penis.
Q. Is it gay to illegally download a George Michael song??
A. Illegally, legally, it's all gay.
Q. Is it gay if you "notice" a nice pair of legs.......then realize the belong to a guy that shaves.
A. You should be able to differentiate between a woman's legs and a guy's legs. Usually by the fact that they're attached to a woman or a guy. So, yes.
Q. Is it gay for a guy to wear slacks on the golf course? His reason is that the PGA requires longpants that aren't jeans, and a polo shirt. Is it gay?
A. No, it's not. However, his reasoning makes it gay. Is he on the fucking PGA tour? Doubt it. Tell him to get over himself.
Q. Is a guy gay if he scopes out how big other guys are hung in the gym?
A. If he's looking for more than 0.5 seconds, yes. That's how long a look at some huge fuckin' freakjob takes from being a source of inspiration to a lusting leer.
Q.
I was at my regular watering hole
last night and the bartender had the TV tuned to a No Holds Barred fighting
match. I enjoyed watching the beginning of the match where they beat the hell
out of each other but a few things bothered me:
- The stare down before the fighting began. They were literally nose-to-nose
and looked like they might kiss. Was that gay?
- The crotch-lock near the end of the match where. They were both too
exhausted to fight so one guy was trying to break the other guy's ankle by
twisting it (clearly a manly attempt--but hey it was a crotch-lock. Was that
gay?
- When it was all over and the winner was declared they hugged each other.
Come on; that has to be gay--doesn't it?
A. There is a certain amount of line-crossing that goes on, for sure, but if the primary result is to inflict maximum pain on the opponent, then a waiver is granted. As long as the hugging was done with the beating of fists hard enough to break bones, it's OK, too. I don't make the rules, I just... oh wait, I do make the rules...
Q. I have a question: do you think that just because you say this site is "all a joke," that it doesn't propogate the hatred toward gays? If you're going to put up a disclaimer saying you're not necessarily discriminating against homosexuals, you could at lease make it a little bigger than size 7 or 8 font. And by the way, most of your answers to visitors' questions are wrong.
A. This was what was sent into the website. Apparently, the sender felt as if his voice wasn't completely heard, so he -emailed this in addendum:
So shove it before your "joke" gets someone hurt. Jokes may be funny to some, but others take everything you say and build a monstrous offensive against gays, and only stirring up their hared even more.
Please try to be considerate of the lives and well-being of others. A little less nicely: stop being a prick.
Finished? Well then, allow me to retort. No, I don't think it propagates hatred toward gays. I'm not sure, but none of the questions are along the lines of, "Do gays bleed red like the rest of us?" or "How much is a gay's scalp worth?" Second, you found the disclaimer, didn't you? So, apparently, regardless of the size of the font, it is visible, legible, and understandable. Thank you. And "wrong" is a matter of interpretation. Since it's FUCKING JOKE, I don't see how it can be wrong. Right?
To answer the little snippet at the end of the e-mail: I won't be shoving it. I leave that motion to "guys" like you. If we stopped saying things because someone, somewhere could get hurt, we'd be a planet full of fucking mimes. I have a counter-proposal for you: get really, really angry with me. Send me a dozen nasty, profanity-laced e-mails telling me what a rat bastard oppressor I am. Oh, wait, better yet... go to a bunch of gay boards and tell them all to mount a massive internet campaign against me. That's right - make as BIG A STINK AS YOU CAN. Get airtime on CNN, MSNBC, The Today Show, and whatever other outlet will listen to you. Tell them all how oppressive and how much of a prick I am. Go ahead. I dare you. I FUCKING TRIPLE-FUCK-DOG-FUCK DARE YOU. Show me what a big tough guy you are. Start a war. Otherwise, shut the fuck up.
Q. Why are sports trainers men? Are these dudes gay? They rub guys down, check their groins, etc. Is this a manly, or gay profession?
A. MOST trainers are men. Would you, as a professional athlete, take direction from a woman a third your size? Of course not. And since I'm a personal trainer, I have to take up the cause for the rest of us. It CAN be gay, certainly, and I know there are certain guys out there who hire personal trainers just so another man will touch them. No, I've never been on one end of that exchange. However, no, we're not gay. So fuck off.
Q. Is speed walking gay? If it is, where's the cut-off between real sports, and the gay sports?
A. Yeah. Guys who "speed walk" are one step away from high heels and a dress. Watch a guy speed walk. Now watch a girl strut in heels. End of discussion.
Q. I was by myself channel surfing on Saturday and I paused on The Learning Channel because this really hot brunette was running her hands up and down this semi-hot, mousey bonde girl. The hot brunette kept telling the semi-hot blonde mousey girl how good she looked, which was also kind of hot. It turned out to be the tail end of "What Not to Wear", which I happen to know because my wife and daughter like to watch this show. Anyway, it was like this train wreck that I couldn't stop watching until the end where the semi-hot blonde mousey girl wanted to show off her new look. Was that gay?
A. No. You were watching strictly for the girls. That's fine. If you were getting fashion pointers, you'd be gay.
Q. if youre fucking a whore and she trys to stick a finger in your ass and shes a really hot whore and so you let her stick it in just to the first joint....am i GAY????
A. One finger to the first knuckle is acceptable. But I wouldn't shake hands with her afterwards.
Q. When in Amsterdam, is it gay to have no interest in checking out the Red Light District? I'm talking about not going there to get a piece of ass, but just to see what it's about.
A. Yes. The Red Light District should be to heterosexual men what Mecca is to the Muslim - you have to go there at least once in your life. And personally, I'd rather fly a few thousand miles to smoke some, uh, er... and get some fine ass than ride a fucking camel through the desert and stand in the middle of hundreds of thousands of soap-deficient people just so I could touch a fucking rock.
Q. Are male-only Turkish baths gay?
A. Can you possibli imagine any sort of scenario in Heaven or on Earth where it WOULDN'T be gay? Dude?
Q. Is it gay to feign excitement over shit my wife is really excited about to get her off my fucking back? " Gee, I can't wait to go to dinner with your sister and her husband, and hear about their trip to the Low Countries. " Gay or not?
A. Yes. Because if you do it enough, eventually you'll do it all the time. And then you just might as well hike up your skirt and go clit-clattering out to your friends in your fucking high heels giggling and squealing... ok, maybe I took that a little far... but it's gay. Stop.
Q. Is Starbucks gay?
A. No. However, people that go googoo for Starbucks are. It's a fucking cup of coffee. If your that much of a... I don't even know what word to use... assclown, perhaps... that you just HAVE to have Starbucks, where's a Starbucks, no, I won't drink any coffee but Starbucks... yeah, you're gay. Like the guy who made it his life's goal to visit every Starbucks in the Universe. That's just like walking around with a condom hanging out of your ass. I hope a Starbucks opens five minutes before he dies, so his retarded life's goal goes unfulfilled. Yes, I am a dick like that sometimes.
Q. When I watch porn I don't avert my eyes during the money shot. Is that gay?
A. Only if it's gay porn.
Q. Sometimes I get aroused after I fire my Glock a couple of times. Is that gay?
A. Only if your life partner sates your arousal afterwards...
Q. I've always said that only teenage girls, air-headed women and gay guys giggle. Do I have to reconsider after your April 20 post on What a Fuckin' Week I'm Having!? If you say giggling is OK I guess I'll have to change my outlook since you're the all-knowning, all-seeing expert on all that is gay.
A. First of all, I'm surprised that anyone actually reads that page. Really. Now, on to the question. I used the term "giggle" rather loosely. Actually, the original response (assisted by my glaucoma meds) was hysterical laughter for a few minutes afterwards (maybe only one, it just seemed longer). The "giggling" I referred to was not real giggling, more of a minor laugh inside my head. Not like I'm walking down the street sounding like a nine year-old girl who just saw the really cute boy from school. So, fret not, brave websurfer, I'm not really giggling, and yes, people that "giggle" (as in real giggling... out loud...) are gay.
Q. There's me and this bloke i work with, there is only us two in the build and he keeps telling me he's got a touch on, is he a raving man fucker?
A. The term "got a touch on" is a soccer reference. And, as far as I know, that's it. Then again, I'm on this side of the pond, so it may mean something else over there. Unless he's accompanying the phrase "I've got a touch on" with licking his lips and staring lustily at guys, then yeah. But by that point, the words would be extraneous to the argument.
Q. Is it Gay if your mate wears a tight pink t-shirt with rip effect material, who's female friend picked it out for him?
A. Yes. Color of shirt: gay. "Rip effect:" gay. A female picked it out for him: gay. Your mate has hit the gay trifecta. Fix him. Quickly.
Q. Is being a wus the same as saying someone is gay For example, if a guy is nervous when driving on the Mackinack Strait Bridge, and someoe calls him a wus, could the term gay also be used?
A. Wus is like gay-in-training. Wus is a symptom of becoming gay. Pretty soon he'll be having his girlfriend drive across the bridge. Then she'll be driving everywhere else, too. Then one day he won't be able to meet you out for beers because his wife can't drive him. Here's what you do: get your friend really drunk. When he passes out, tie him to the hood of a car. Doesn't matter whose. When he comes to, get in the car (with him still tied to the hood) and drive across the Mackinack Strait Bridge. Over and over again. For good measure, swerve a few times and make it look like your almost going to plunge into the icy depths below. Either he'll be cured of his nervousness or have a heart attack and die. Have someone in the car who knows CPR just in case. Also make good friends with a lawyer.
Q. Is it gay to use silverware to eat pizza?
A. Yes. It is extremely gay - and a violation of comestible etiquette. So is dipping a slice in ranch dressing, or whatever you sick bastards in the Midwest do. Any method of consuming said pizza utilizing any method other than what is known as the "Brooklyn Fold" is gay. In my opinion.
Q. If I guy uses the word " cute " is he pretty much announcing to anyone listening that he's gay?
A. A girl can be "cute." Someone's comment about another person's mother, girlfriend, and a bill goat named Alfred is "cute." However, the word should not be used more than twice in an hour (five times throughout the course of an entire day). Also, depends on WHAT he is describing as cute. The perky, almost gravity-defying buttocks of a co-ed? Acceptable. Kittens? No.
Q. Is it gay to play online RPG games?
A. Not necessarily. What is gay is the hours upon hours upon testosterone-slaughtering hours that some people obsess over their games. A little escapism isn't so bad. If nothing else, it gives you a place to slaughter other characters you can pretend are the people you work with. However, drawing pictures of your level 12 paladin, dressing up like him when playing, and basing interpersonal relationships in real life on what happens in the game is SO fucking gay.
Q. With the use of women being only to scrwe (I can do my own laundry)Do you think that sciences ability to give men a pussy with ther dick the answer to our prayers or just super gay?
A. Gay. Although, when someone tells you to go fuck yourself, you can actually say, "OK." Besides, where are you going to put the vagina? Right next to the penis? How's it going to bend? Why am I entertaining possibilities for this?
Q. How many family pictures should a guy have in his house? If a guy has several male siblings, is it gay to have more than one individual picture of each on display?
A. One, of miscellaneous family members, preferably doing something semi-obscene. If married, three - the aforementioned family snapshot plus (1) picture from the wedding or the honeymoon because God forbid there isn't a picture up of it that she can showallherfriendswhentheycomeoverandwhat'sthematterwhatareyouashameddoyouthinkilookfatinmyweddingdressyoudodon'tyoumomwasrightaboutyoushealwayssaidyouwerenogood (got the idea?) plus one of the wife and kids (same reasons basically as above). More than that, you better have a damn good explanation.
Q. If a guy crosses his legs like a chick, is he certifiably gay? What if he's European, where the practice is much more common?
A. Yes and since when does being European exclude you from being gay?
Q. Is it gay to compromise your politics to get laid? For example, a guy is a hawk concerning the war, but decides to go to an anti-war rally because he knows some attractive women ( one in particular ) are going to protest because they are really into that cause.
A. Just to get laid? He's in the clear. If he's doing it to make a girl like him so she'll be seen in public with him, very incredibly hugely megagay. Like a guy who always drinks Bud Light, and when he starts dating a girl who drinks Jim Beam and Coke, he starts drinking Jim Beam and Coke. Yeah. Gay.
Q. Is it gay to be in a barbershop quartet? Would it be gay if they practiced singing in a car?
A. You know, I never thought about it. Just when I think I've been asked every possible scenario, someone shows me the error of my ways. In this case I would have to use a different sort of litmus test, a reverse if you will: have you ever, in your life, met a girl who at any point in time for any reason whatsoever, regardless of level of sobriety or mental/emotional state, ever once even jokingly uttered, "Guys in barbershop quartets get me hot." Unless you've been talking to your grandmother or traveled back to the year 1925, I'm gonna guess no. And if you're gonna do something like dress in candy stripe outfits and sing a capella, you'd better be pulling major ass. And if you know that no ass whatsoever is to be pulled, and you still do it, you're gay. So there.
Q. Is it gay to say, "He is a homosexual" when you could say, "Hey that guy is a FAG!"
A. No.
Q. I think men's magazines are gay. Yea, shit like Maxim, etc. They advertise products that guys really don't need, like body wash, they have articles about shit like fashion for guys, and while the pictures are cool, pictures of hot chicks are a dime-a-dozen. And finally, the women are nude, which appeals to girlfriends and wives, who buy the subscription for their boyfriend or husband. It smacks of gay to me.
A. Maxim is OK. I have a few issues sitting next to the toilet. They make great shitter reading, because the articles are the length of the average dump (yes, I ripped off "The Big Chill"). Esquire - gay. FHM - not gay, but written by dorks.
Q. What's the slowest a guy can channel surf and still be considered a man?
A. Depends on what is slowing him down. Images of explosions, guns, fighter jets, Godzilla - not gay. Martha Stewart making a quilt, kittens, love scenes, anything on "Lifetime" or it's just-as-gay sister channels - gaygaygaygay.
Q. Is it gay for a guy who's like 36 years old to still " celebrate " every cheap feel he gets. He's in a bar, and says, " Dude, did you see me get a nice handful of ass on that chick as I squeezed past her on my way to the bar!! " Is that gay, or something else?
A. Not gay per se, since it's girls he's groping, but stupid. Tell your friend who obviously is mentally still in chess club and computer club in high school to grow the fuck up. Or, even better, next time he brags about it, tell the girl he did it to what happened obviously unbeknownst to her. Sit back and watch the hilarity ensue.
Q. Is it gay to be afraid of bugs? I don't mean scorpions or tarantulas, just regular bees and flies and gnats and shit like that.
A. Yes.
Q. Is it gay for a guy to like the smell of scented candles? Can he like it, as long as he doesn't purchase them?
A. It's not gay to like the smell, but it IS gay to ADMIT that you like the smell. It's like the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" of aromatherapy.
Q. Is it gay to do an incredibly authentic imitation of someone who is flaming gay?
A. No, unless the imitation involves touching another guy, then you're in deep shit. Pun intended.
Q. Is it gay to know the biographies of male porn stars?
A. It's gay just to know their names. Why would you concern yourself and dedicate valuable mental resources to knowing the names / life stories of guys and their cocks? Ya think that MIGHT be just a LITTLE faggity?
Q. Is it gay to quote Shakespere?
A. Not if it's in context. Allow me to elucidate. About ten years ago, this guy came in the bar with these two moderately hot girls. During the course of his miserable failure of an attempt to impress them (which ended with (a) his recounting of a story where he was at the urinal and the guy next to him looked over and said, "Nice cock," which was followed by (b) the two girls giving each other the look, getting up, and walking out, leaving him there in a puddle of his own stupidity), he tried quoting the "Friends, Romans, countrymen" speech Marc Anthony gives in Julius Caesar. Completely out of context, just trying to impress them with the depth of his intelligence. That was gay.
Q. Is it gay to follow David Beckham and his wife through the media? In other words, if you care, is it gay?
A. Posh Spice? No. Him? Yes. And following of said wife should be limited to eye candy material. If you start to wonder where she shops, go buy a rainbow bumper sticker.
Q. Is it gay to check out Mellisa Joan Hart in Sabrina the Teenage Witch reruns?
A. No, but since she was like fourteen on that show, you're entering a whole different kind of problem.
Q. Are Rattlesnakes (the drink ) Gay?
A. No idea. What the fuck is a Rattlesnake?
Q. I was waiting at the doctor's office, and I read US Weekly, or something like that. It's similiar to People Magazine. A friend said it was gay for me to read that magazine. I said it would be gay if I purchased it, but it's okay to read in a waiting room. Who's right?
A. Your friend is right. You're a homo.
Q. If I fuck a lesbian, was it gay on her part?
A. If you fuck a lesbian, then she's NOT REALLY A LESBIAN, is she?
