17 February 2002

A note to women:  Don't put on a black mini-skirt, a tight red half-shirt, and thigh-high black boots, then go to a bar and get pissed off when guys hit on you.  I saw a girl getting out of a car dressed like this, turn to two of her friends, and say "I feel like I'm dressed like a hooker."  Those were her exact words.  Well no shit!  Then she'll sit down, fifty guys will be staring at her, then her boyfriend will get all pissed off, probably almost get into a fight with someone over the whole thing... am I making sense here?  Or, she doesn't have a boyfriend, but acts like a total crack when any guy comes up to use one of his pathetic pick-up lines.  If you want to be left alone, don't wear leather pants and a see-through shirt.  In other words, don't dress like someone who's on a mission to get a good deep dickin'.  That would be similar to me going to Fenway wearing my Thurman Munson jersey and my Yankee hat, only in my case, I'd apparently be on a mission to get beer thrown at me.

And a side note:  don't wear a tight outfit if you don't have the body to wear a tight outfit.  It looks ridiculous when we can see the bra strap forcing your fat into little hills under your DKNY shirt and your ass looks like two Volkswagens trying to get out of the way of each other under your mini-skirt.  There really should be fashion police.

Oh, and guys, in reference to the "pathetic pick-up lines" comment in the first paragraph:  I guarantee you that whatever witty little thing you're going to say to her in an attempt to strike up a conversation, she's heard it before.  You're not Vince Vaughn in "Swingers."  Being a bartender for ten years, I've watched guys make complete assholes out of themselves while thinking that they're the sauvest biped God ever created.  I sympathize with women to a point when guys do the lame shit that they do.  But just to a point.