28 April 2002

OK, this week's rant focuses on people that own dogs.  No, not ALL dog owners.  I mean people that get a dog and then leave it outside all the time chained to a tree, or outside in a fenced-in yard.  This rant was sparked by the following news item:

Dog survives strike by lightning bolt

A beagle has survived being hit by lightning after being chained to a tree in Indiana.

The bolt travelled through the metal links tethering Sport to the tree in the town of Washington.

He reportedly left four black paw prints on the concrete where he was standing outside a home.

His owner found him panting, bleeding from a paw and with a hot body. A trip to the vet revealed no serious injury.

The lightning damaged the house belonging to Sport's owners and blew all the plugs out of their sockets.

Now, why would you buy a dog so you can lock him up outside all the time?  What the fuck is the point in owning a dog at that point?  Yeah, I've got "man's best friend" locked in the kennel outside, he's there all the time.  Why own a fucking dog?  I have four dogs, they are house dogs, they have a doggie door to run into the yard, they sleep in the bed with me, they lay around the house... they are PETS.

I don't understand the mentality (or lack thereof) of people who get pets and then lock them outside the house.  I don't mean someone that puts the dog out when they go to work, or at night, but the fuckwits who have the dog locked outside 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  All the reasons for owning a dog and having a pet are negated when you don't spend any time with him.  The only possible exception to this I can see would be someone who lives on a big farm and has a farmdog, and the dog runs around all day long with you, chasing chickens and horses, and doesn't come in the house at night.  But if you live in a regular house and have the dog chained to a tree all day and night, why have a dog?  And if you live in a condo and have a big, hyper dog that you keep on a small patio all day and night, well, FUCKIN' WHY??!?? (And you know who you are, bitch)

Dogs are like two year old kids.  For their entire lives.  They do stupid shit, they want attention, and if you treat them well, they're great to be around.  If you feed them shit fuckin' grocery store dog food, lock them outside all day and night, and show them less attention than you would a booger on your shirt, then just put a sign out in your yard saying, "FREE DOG AVAILABLE - I'M A FUCKING RETARD WHO CAN'T TAKE CARE OF A DOG AND NEED TO FIND SOMEONE WITH A BRAIN WHO CAN."

If you don't want to take care of a dog, don't have the patience to deal with a dog, don't have the space to keep a dog, and/or don't have the time to care for a dog, then DON'T GET A FUCKING DOG!  Get a cat.  Cats don't give a fuck if you are home, if you leave for two weeks, leave the window open so they can get in and out and some food on the counter, they're happy.