5 August 2002

DRUNK LEVEL:  0
(Drunk Level is measured on a scale on 1-10 - zero being dead sober - depending solely on how shitty (aka. pissed, blotto, pickled, drunk) I was when I wrote this.  DL should be considered in any syntax errors, as well as grammatical faux pauxs and continuity errors.  If you have issues with the actual content - what I am saying - well, go fuck yourself).

Why has it become almost a moment bordering on the miraculous when someone actually does what they say they are going to do?  Or, finishes the job?  Why is it SO FUCKING HARD for some people just to do what they're supposed to?

EXAMPLE ONE

You've (I assume) read the rants about "My Fuckhead Neighbor."  For those who haven't, he's the guy who wanted to replace the wooden fence with a block fence, moved the wooden fence to keep the dogs in, blocked my side gate, and took two and a half months to build a fucking wall.  The gory details are in the Rants, read them if you want.  For those of you familiar with the tale, here's the latest.

He came over after I left the second sarcastic note in his mailbox and removed the sections of the old wooden fence that served as the "temporary wall" for the dogs.  When I say removed, what I mean is he pulled out the support braces holding the fence up and left everything in my yard.  This, on top of the piles of dirt and cement that his workers left behind, made for a very, uh, "attractive" part of my yard.  Not only that, there is a gap between the side gate to my yard and the new block wall that the dumb bastards didn't replace.  Well, as of this morning, I STILL had two-by-sixes, wooden fence sections, dirt, and cement along that wall.  So, after mowing the front and back, I took the sections of the fence and dragged them out of my backyard, leaning them half on my property, half on his.  This is my way of reminding him that there is still shit left over from his fence abortion on my property.  My next move is to throw every last piece in the middle of his front yard.

You might find this to be a very drastic maneuver.  Let me give you the scenario:  after the bock fence was completed, he dumped a pile of broken cinder block in his front yard.  To make the scene even more attractive, he covered his lawn with the sand left over.  So now I live next door to a moonscape.  I don't think that dumping the remaining fence in his yard is going to do any kind of damage to his yard, since I can't imagine doing any more damage than he has already done.  The people that lived there before kept the lawn looking presentable.  Jason has turned it into Beirut.

The best part is, after the second note asking him to finish the fuckin' job, HE is pissed off at ME.  Let me get this straight:  you move my fence to build a block wall, restrict access to my backyard, have your workers show up two months after the job was supposed to be FINISHED, they leave dirt and cement in my yard, and you expect that I am going to clean this shit up?  You short little faggot.

EXAMPLE TWO

You all know Shelle, I've talked about her, she's the roommate who moved in on May 11th and hasn't been on-time once with the rent and STILL owes me $260 for last month?  Well, I'm giving her her walking papers tomorrow.  UNICEF doesn't pay my rent, this isn't a charity, and I ain't Mother Teresa.  I have bills to pay and a job that doesn't give the financial freedom I enjoyed up until a year and a half ago, and I am not about to let this complete moron waste space here.  Honestly, it doesn't make a difference to me - I hope to get a job when I go back to NY this week, and all of this will be null and void, because I'll be gone in two weeks.  However, the fact remains that we agreed that she'd pay $400 for rent AND utilities (sound like a deal to you?) and she hasn't even made mention of the fact that she still owes me money.  It would be one thing if she was blowing me every now and again, I could thereby justify her not paying.  I'm getting fucked, I'm just not getting laid.  Her excuse is that she can't find a job.  No, you can find a JOB, you're just not LOOKING.  When she was staying here (before her car blew up and she had no money and decided to mooch off her ex-boyfriend's sister) she'd spend the whole day sleeping or in her room doing... I don't know.  One thing she WASN'T doing was looking for a job.  Buy a paper, get the phone, and start calling.

IN CONCLUSION

Keep to your commitments.  If you move into someone's house and agree to pay a monetary rental, then pay it.  If it's because you're not working, go look for a job.  If you start a construction project, clean it the fuck up.  This goes for everything in life.  If you are an incompetent dipshit who is so lazy that you would asphyxiate if breathing was not a motor function, then just wear a shirt saying, "I'm An Incompetent Fuck - Don't Believe Anything I Say."