DRUNK BAR BITCHES

This isn't the weirdest story in the world, but at the time it was pretty damn funny.

A little background info on myself. My name is Jeremy, and I have been stuck in college for seven goddamn years now. Most of them are a haze, but what the fuck. During the day I manage a Pawnshop, and at night Bartend at a bar&grill. Effectively, I get to see all the fuckers twice a day.
Keeps things interesting.

One of the funnier things that has happened recently, aside from the usual dickheads accidentally drinking from their spit cup, (makes me giggle every damn time it happens!) happened a couple of weeks ago.

On Monday nights we have three dollar pitchers, so every blue-gummed, sheep fucking inbred and his brother/cousin come in. A lady walks up to the bar and orders a pitcher. No tip, so the bitch got plastic cups instead of cold beer mugs. She sits down and has a couple of beers. I don't know what the hell she was on, but two beers into it, and this gal was fucking slobbering on herself. She mumbled something about using the phone so I handed her our cordless, thinking she was going to call a cab. After a few minutes of talking, and a pretty piss poor attempt not to slur every damn word she was saying, she hands me the phone and got up to piss. Half way to the bathroom, the bitch forgets how to walk, and busts her ass bigger than Dallas. It was the funniest thing we had seen all evening, so were all too busy rolling on the floor to help the broad up. She crawled to the bathroom and about two minutes later a lady walks in asking for her. We were all still chuckling, and could only point to the bathroom. Apparently, heckling drunk ass was not a good thing to do in front of this new lady. She got all defensive and accusatory, and switched into Bitch mode. O.K., retort with asshole mode! I didn't pour beer down her gullet, I just did my job. I starting wiping my own ass 25 years ago, and expect everybody else to be able to do the same fucking thing. Come to find out, the fire breathin bull dike hollering at me was the drunk bitches AA sponsor! The drunk bitch called her goddamn AA sponsor to pick her up from the bar. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK ???
Rather ironic I thought, and pretty funny in hindsight.

There is a first time for everything! I don't know if this was more of a rant, or a story, but there it is.

Assholes, assholes everywhere, but not a one can think!

I wish half of these people nowadays would either start using the gray matter they were born with, or go outside and play "hide and go fuck themselves."

Jeremy S.
in Texas

P.S. Love the website man!